I have often heard people talk about God bringing people to the end of themselves. I thought I had actually experienced it a time or two, but I don’t think I had a clue…
Last week in the midst of conflict, my squad leader asked me,
“How close to empty are you?”
And in that moment, I knew that I was still attempting to rely on my own strength. Still attempting to hang on to my pride. Still attempting to minister, love and serve out of my own reserves, which was dwindling with each breath I took.
And it wasn’t until I finally laid my pride on His altar, acknowledging that I am nothing without Him, that He began to fill me.
“My old self has been crucified with Christ.
It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me.
So I live in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God,
who loves me and gave himself for me.” Galatians 2:20
Throughout this process of my death and resurrection, God brought me to my knees as I experienced my deepest fears realized in my life…failure, weakness and rejection.
In bringing my old self to its death, He has given me new life.
I can recount story upon story of the tragedies and joys of this world that result in both physical and spiritual life and death.
But at the end of the day, these are the Truths that keep me pursuing my Jesus:
He is good.
And He loves me.
And that is enough for me. He is enough for me.
I may have taken a long path to get these Truths to sink into my being, but they are permanently cemented into my heart…for I serve a Lord who loves me with a passionate, intimate love…He just wanted me to acknowledge that He is my everything and that I am nothing without Him.
“…What counts is whether we have been transformed into a new creation.” Galatians 6:15b
All glory to my Lord who has blessed me with this new creation.
By the way, I am thoroughly enjoying our ministry here in Romania…I got to play in the dirt for hours…don’t worry, Grandma, I haven’t forgotten how to do manual labor!! More details to come…
