Well, friends, I just got back from Training Camp, and after a few days of processing, it’s time to share… What an incredible week! Although I could tell story after story involving the details of the challenges and activities, I won’t spoil it for future racers. So, instead, I will simply share with you a few things that I have learned.
First of all, let me introduce my squad: M Squad (best squad) consists of 28 racers and 7 leaders. That being said, we were by far the smallest squad represented. Most of the other 4 squads had around 50 or 60 people. We had some ‘disadvantages’, but overall, I could not be more thankful for our small number! We had the unique opportunity to truly bond as a family. I can say that by the first day of camp, I had already had conversations with every single person on my squad. And, by the middle of the week, we were all family. Pretty awesome!
So, they told us not to come with any expectations. While I tried my hardest to come with an open mind, I was still surprised. The first few days were full of worship and teaching. In those days the focus was on MY healing and MY freedom. Surprise! I guess I assumed we would be learning about spreading the hope and healing to our ministry contacts and villages. While we did talk a lot about those things, camp was introduced to us as a safe, real, family of Christ. On the very first night I found myself letting go of things I didn’t know I was still holding onto. And day after day the Lord taught me more and more about Himself and about who He created me to be. I was overwhelmed by the love and encouragement I received from my Squad Leaders. Three of them spoke Words of life, hope, and renewal over me. Two of them even led me up to the front of the “dance party” and reminded me to release my joy.
Joy. That is my name. Melissa Joy. God knew my name before I did. And, apparently so did other people around me (ha!). I realize that I was afraid of joy. I was afraid of being happy, content, renewed—afraid of letting go and moving on. And, since I am being completely honest, I still have those moments of fear. It’s sometimes easier to hold onto the pain, be the victim, dwell in the past. But it’s not what God wants for me—for any of us. Allowing my joy to shine through is not a sign of forgetting or pretending that things were always right, but it is a sign that even though things went horribly against my dreams, I serve a God who doesn’t leave me where I’m at; a God who has wonderful plans for my life. I serve a God who created me to be a light of His joy.
Bold. Another word that I received this week was boldness. One of my leaders shared a picture with me of a lamb and a lion. She told me, “You are a lamb. You are a follower of the shepherd. But you are also a lion. You are bold, courageous, and strong.” I have realized over the past several months how much I have let fear control my life. After all, it did take me a few months to even apply to Race! Why? Fear. But God did not create that in me. For God did not give me a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love, and of self-discipline [2Tim1:7]. I was created to be strong, brave, and bold.
Uniquely loved. One of my leaders came up to me during worship and shared a picture of a feather. She told me that I am a feather dancing in the wind. I twirl and I move in a unique pattern, as no feather moves the same. I was created to be light and free. The Father’s love for me does not depend on anything that I do or don’t do. All I need to do is be myself and rest in Him. This brought out in me the fact that I don’t truly know who I am anymore. I am re-getting to know myself as an individual. I can’t be put in a box of a personal type, I can’t be defined by what I do, but my identity truly rests in Him and who He created me to be—and that is one who is as free as a feather.
Last week was a week of freedom and light. It reaffirmed that I am headed in the right direction; that this is where God is leading me. It reignited my heart for missions—for His children, and for His kingdom. I have a lot of work left to do before I launch on this grand adventure, but I have faith that He will continue to provide my every need—financial, material, emotional, and spiritual. I am beyond grateful for all of the people that God is leading on this adventure with me. Not only will I get to live ministry with 31 wonderful Racers, but I have a committed, supportive, and encouraging partnership back home, and I have a God who will never let me go. I am truly blessed.
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