Excited. Thankful. Expectant. Scared. Uncertain. Incredibly nervous. All the emotions that I am feeling, as I am travelling to Atlanta to begin my journey. I have just landed in Atlanta, after about a two hour flight from Houston, where I spent the entire time going through the roller coaster of all of these emotions.
Excited
For the last few months, I have been nothing but excited. Excited to serve the Lord, excited to serve His people, excited for the growth that will take place in my own faith, excited for this new experience that I have never experienced before. SO EXCITED!!
Thankful
Over the last few months, I have been so thankful as well. Thankful that the Lord has invited me into this journey of sharing His gospel across the world, even though I am just a small part of it. Thankful of the fact that, while He does not need me, He chose me. There are so many equipped people that He could have chosen to be a part of this, and His truth will spread like wildfire with, or without me. But He chose me, for this specific role in it all. He gave me a desire to share the love of Jesus, He provided an opportunity, and He has provided everything else along the way. And for that, I am thankful. I have also grown extremely thankful for everyone who has supported me along the way. A much more detailed, and personal thank you is in store, but just briefly, those of you that have supported me- thank you. Whether you supported me in prayer, or financially, thank you. I could not do this without every single one of you, and just know that you were a part of the Lord’s plan and means of getting me here. Be thankful that He chose to use you, just as I am.
Expectant
As my departure date has come closer, I’ve grown extremely expectant. Of what? I don’t know yet. But God is stirring up so many things in my heart, and I know He is going to stretch and grow me so much over the next month. I have no idea what that is going to look like, but when I think about that, I can’t help but feel immense joy in knowing that He is going to shape me, and draw me closer to Him, as I pull others towards Him. Thank you Jesus!!!!
Scared
Over the last few weeks, as I have been truly preparing to leave for a month- leave my entire life behind for a whole month- I have grown to feel scared. I am going to a place I have never been, with a group of people I have never met, to do things that I have never done. SCARY. And as I talk to people about what my June looks like this year, they never fail to remind me of all of the dangers and possible things that could go wrong. And that list is long. The enemy has fed off of those fears, and has filled me with fear. I can only pray that the Lord would strip those fears away, and replace them with His overwhelming peace in knowing that He’s got me. I needed to hear that, we all need to hear that. He’s got me.
Uncertain
Over the last weeks, I’ve also grown to be very uncertain. Am I equipped for this? Do I have what it takes? Is this where the Lord truly wants me this summer? Will I be safe? What if I die? (yes, I have really questioned what if I die.) And the enemy has fed off of these fears as well. I have been battling in my mind if this is truly where the Lord wants me. My prayer was that He would HAVE to completely slam the door in my face, prevent me from getting here, in order for me to not go. If He truly wanted me somewhere else, He would not have let it be so. I am exactly where He wants me- sitting on the floor of the Atlanta airport, safe and with all of my items, with some final down time before I go to training camp. I am beginning to feel reassured, but the enemy will not go down without a fight. But one thing I am certain about, through the midst of my uncertainty- God has me where He wants me, and will handle the rest. All I need to do is obey, and He will handle what I can’t. I need that reminder daily.
Incredibly Nervous
Over the last few days especially, I have grown incredibly nervous. All the same emotions that I mentioned above, but on steroids the last few days. As I say goodbye to my life as I know it (for the next month), I am extremely vulnerable to the enemy’s advances. And boy, does he know it. He’s so real y’all, and so present. And I can’t fight him off on my own. I rest in knowing the truths that I mentioned above, that God is in control. He fights the enemy for me. Every 5 minutes, another one of these emotions takes over my mind, and I am constantly reminding myself, let Him handle it. Possibly one of the first major things He has grown in me thus far, and I haven’t even left the country yet. I speak that over myself, and I speak that over every person that reads this. Let Him handle it. Let Him handle it. Do your very best, and let Him handle it. One more time, let that resonate, let Him handle it. He’s got me from here.
I appreciate all of the prayers that have come my way, and I would LOVE if each of you would continue to pray for me- prayer is powerful!! I will do my best to update this page as much as possible, so stay tuned 🙂 Also, if you subscribe to it, you will get an email each time I update!
