[I'm going to go back and add pictures to this one once I have slightly quicker internet :)]
Have you ever held onto something so tightly that you don’t need at all? Have you ever held onto an idea about yourself, a lie someone spoke over you or an event that rocked you so much so that it becomes a part of your identity?
For me that event and that moment is February 9th.
It was a day that held a lot of tragedy; a lot of emotion; a lot of pain. It’s a day that in 2009 my mom got airlifted to a hospital with near-respiratory failure and ended up being in the hospital for a month. February 9th is the day that last year I got hit by a car and my world literally and figuratively got turned upside down.
And after last February 9th I planned to brood. I planned to stay home on that day in 2013 with some chips and guacamole; with a good movie, a good book and stay on my couch.
Apparently God had other plans.
This year I am no where near my couch; I have no chips and market guac.
I am in Trujillo Peru.
And the days leading up to February 9th were a bit crazy.
This past week my team along with Kingdom Seekers were doing construction on InkaLink’s property- prepping for the continual building of an orphanage. This week I have ton multiple tasks.
Such as: move bricks up three flights of stairs, haul dirt from one pile to another, demolish bricks with a sledge hammer, weed, level a volleyball court for 6 hours, move bricks from one side of the compound to the other, help dig up a hole for a skim board pool, gotten covered in more Peruvian dirt then I thought possible and many other random tasks.
And along with working in the sun for 6 or so hours a day we were having nights of squad bonding in the form of telling our stories; praying over brokenness and lies in our lives and calling out the greatness in each other.
It’s all been good. Just sufficiently draining. And I shared the first night what I was struggling with and what the thing that God is teaching me the most about [more on that another time]. And I thought I was done; I thought I had done all there was to do in regards of sharing my story.
But apparently once again, God had other plans.
As the days went on and as it grew closer to that date that I loathe I realized I could feel something growing. Something inside that didn’t sit well with me. A restlessness was begin to start at the tips of my toes.
Anxiety was building.
But I wasn’t going to say anything. I was just going to go with it. I was just going to let The day go by. Probably be in my head about- waiting for tragedy to strike, but I was just going to go with it.
And I joke about it with a few people- talked about how I HATE February 9th, but small remarks- nothing huge. Nothing that made anyone too wary of how I was actually feeling.
And that night in session I felt this sense from God to share- to put this fear out into the light. To shove it out of it’s warm home and put it in the cold. It didn’t belong in me, in who I was or what I was doing.
So I did. I shared. Let it out and moved on.
But then about 3 people later my wonderful squad-mate Jan, called the entire squad out to pray over me. To take way the pain, the fear and the emotions of that day.
And they covered me. In prayers, in notes, in love, in cookies and most importantly in peace. I went to bed with a peace about me. with a joy.
And woke up and had potentially the best day I have had on the race. Full of laughter, joy, peace, cake and of course beating up rocks with a pick ax.
The spirit of God surrounded me through me teammates and squad-mates. His presence renewed me and gave me a joy that I had been missing for what felt like a long time. In the last 24 hours God has spoken more clearly than ever; He has giving me so many encouraging words for so many of my Nsquad family. And I’ve loved getting to share what God has told me.
And at the end of the day the enemy tried to take it away. He tried to claim the day, tried to take away the joy.
But none of us would let him.
That one’s not my story to tell but I will say this:
NSquad ended February 9th by dancing, jumping and singing to God. By lifting up our prayers of thanksgiving, of being completely family.
I’m grateful for all the people that have ever gotten me through a February 9th. And I am grateful that now February 9th is the day that I found the most freedom I ever have had. I have stopped holding on to the negative of it all. I have the positive- the uplifted moments and the constant light.
Thank you all for your constant love and support. We head out of this area on the 26th!
If you would like to help me get to my April 1rst deadline please click support!
