Sometimes trying to organize your thoughts on the race is a bit ridiculous.
Either SO much is happening or nothing is happening. There is no middle ground.
I have a blog bouncing around in my head about our time we’ve had in Ukraine and New Russia. About the eyeglass ministry we’ve been doing here. About the little babushka who gave me a cardigan because she thought that I was cold. So now I have this cardigan from a babushka in the Ukraine.
But instead of telling you about all of that right now I have a letter to write.
You see, in a mere week and a half, I turn 28.
Wow. That sounds really old. Half of my 28 I will spend in foreign countries and right around my half birthday I will come back to the states. The first half of 28 will be so different then the second half. So in that I want to remind 29 year old me of something. So here it goes.
Dear 29 year old me:
It’s June 1rst 2014 and for the first time in my life I can say I have NO idea where you are reading this from. Are you in Orange County? Georgia? Are you even in the continental US?
Who knows.
I write you this letter from my little pull out bed in a one room apartment in a little town near the border of Russia. By 29 your passport is full, you’ve been over a lot of the world and you’ve changed, hopefully, a lot.
I don’t know if you are dating someone, single, or have a broken heart.
But I hope you still love Jesus as much I do right now.
I hope you’ve pushed through, I hope you are doing something that brings you joy – not just something that brings you money.
I hope that you haven’t forgotten who you are, who you are becoming.
I hope being on the edge of 30 doesn’t freak you out.
I hope you still remember all the places that have gotten your feet dirty- literally. I hope you remember the overnight busses and the trains.
I hope you remember how Jesus changed you.
And I hope he still is changing you.
If he is not go back and read through your blogs, your journals- look at the pictures. If you are stuck find a way to become unstuck.
I am feeling pretty stuck right now. As I look over the edge of the cliff that is a new year in my life I wonder what I’ve really done- who I’ve really become.
How have I actually spent these 27 years in my life? Have I made them worth it? Has what I have done in my life impacted those around me?
I don’t really want to question that anymore. I hope as you read this on your 29th birthday that you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you have lived your life well.
But of course, above all: I hope you have joy.
And I hope you can remember the moments where you realized that the joy of the Lord does not mean happiness, contentness or peace.
It means just what it is: joy.
Happy Birthday 29 year old me.
If you can- have a cupcake from Casey’s Cupcakes and a margarita from ZTejas.
Love you lots,
Almost 28 year old me.
