Before leaving America I asked 11 close friends to pray about a word God wanted me to focus on this year, and I would spend a month studying and focusing on that word. Boy was a I surprised by some of the responses!! At first I questioned God and tried to reason with Him...God maybe they didn't understand what I was asking so I will change the word to something else. I could almost hear Him laughing, My child they understood exactly what you asked them. Those are your words for the next 11 months. So for September, LOVE. This word was actually given to me 3 times, and at first I didn't understand but now I get it. Love is HUGE!!!! I don't even think after 3 months I will fully understand, but I will be closer than I was. I didn't bring my study Bible, so at the beginning of the month I spent probably a week reading 1 Cor 13, the love chapter. God revealed several things to me thru this passage but I kept feeling like I was in the wrong place. I kept feeling God telling me to start at John 3:16. Really God? This is over used. I memorized this as a first grader in private school. So finally about a week into my study I went to John 3:16. The funny thing about it, God is always right!! I don't know why I waste time trying to argue with Him. John 3:16 is the basic foundation of everything. For God so LOVED the world so much that He gave His one and only Son, so that everyonewho believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life. His love for me is what He wanted to show me and teach me this month. My whole life I've been taught He loved me before He created me. He loved me enough to die for me. He loved me enough to rise on that 3rd day. He loves me even when I screw up. And even though I've been taught these things, and I believe them with all my heart for other people I'm not sure I've ever completely believed them and claimed them for myself. You see I compared my relationship with God to my relationships here on earth. I lowered God's greatness and perfectness to a human level. I have never felt like people accept me for me. I've always felt like I needed to do something to earn a friendship and love. The problem with this on a human level is I can only give and do for so long and then burn out comes. And it has been my experience when burnout hits and I can't give and do any longer those "friends" leave. So it is confirmed in my heart that we were only friends based on what I could do to earn the friendship. I have brought that way of thinking into my relationship with Christ. And even though I have been taught I can't earn His love by works I still try; because just being me hasn't seemed to be enough with my other relationships. But here's the difference.... when burnout comes God doesn't leave me standing alone. He NEVER leaves me. He picks me up and hugs me tighter and says, I love you! God showed how much He loved us by sending His one and only Son into the world so that we might have eternal life through Him. This is real love-not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins. 1 John 4:9-10 God is all knowing....and knowing how many times I would screw up, fail, and let Him down He still choose to love me and create me!!! It took 6 days to speak the world into existence and He took 9 months to form me into His masterpiece, into His image. No matter what I do I can't lose His love. This analogy was given to me this month... a son asked his father, "Dad if I become a missionary and serve God my whole entire life will you be proud of me?” The father responded with a simple, ”No.” The son was confused, so the father went on, “Tell me what you did to become my son?” The son didn’t even have to think, “Nothing.” The father then asked, “What can you do to cause me to stop loving you?” The son thought for a few minutes and finally responded, “I don’t think I could ever do anything dad.” The father smiled. Just like that father and son, is my relationship with Christ. I did NOTHING to become His daughter. He chose me, and no matter what I do I can never cause Him to stop loving me. I have learned over my life that I will never be good enough to meet this worlds expectations of who it says I should be, should look like, should act like, etc. And I am now at a point that, that’s okay, because I have a Father who loves me for me. He loves me when I’m at my best, when I am at my worse and every place in between. And I wouldn’t trade His love for anything in the world.
