In December, God challenged me to define spiritual foundation and spiritual doctrine. Easy enough I thought, I know exactly what my foundation is, I was raised Southern Baptist! The definitions He gave me were:
Foundation: God divine, and God given. Jesus was born of a virgin; He was fully man and fully God. He took my place on the cross, died, defeated Hell and the grave and rose on Day 3.
Doctrine: Man made. Beliefs and rules given by man from his interpretation from the Word of God.
As the month progressed, I prayed into everything I believed and let God sort stuff out. Foundation I kept and stand firm on. Doctrine I laid at the foot of the cross daily. By the end of the month I sat in front of the 11 ladies I would be serving with in Thailand and said, “I am spiritually naked! I have nothing to hide behind anymore when things get uncomfortable. I want all of God, and nothing but God. I don’t want man’s views anymore.”
In January there were times when in the moment the easy thing to do would have been to call my best friend, or grandmother and ask them to tell me what I believe, but that would have defeated all the walls God tore down. So I continued to press in to what God had for me. I can honestly say there has never been a time in my life when He was so quiet. For 2 weeks I would wake up between 2-3 am and not be able to sleep. So I began praying, and finally the day came and I heard from Him-but it wasn’t what I wanted to hear. “You have the foundation you need. Pray for your team.” God, I pray enough for my team already. We have bigger issues to talk about.” And again His response was a simple command, “Pray for your team.” God started opening my eyes to see the team the way He sees us, in the spiritual realm and there was a war raging against us. I began praying that whatever I needed to fight for the team that God would give it to me: love, prayer, more love, and scripture to speak life over the team, anything…even if that meant a spiritual gift.
On the way to Malaysia I decided to share with Sarah that I had started praying for tongues so she could be praying also. When we got to our ministry site two teams from G-squad were here. We spent about 36 hours together, and we were so blessed by them!! On Monday night when they should have been packing, they asked if we wanted to do a prayer/worship service together. What else is there to do at midnight in the middle of closed country, Malaysia, except bring kingdom!
The service started with this question, “Is there anyone who has been praying for tongues?” I quietly confessed to God that I want it more than anything if it is what He wants for me, and it will help me fight for the team in the spiritual realm. I also confessed to Him that by not publicly asking for it in the group that I was protecting Him from disappointing me if it is not what He has for me. Michael looked at me, and said “Meg, I feel like God has given me a vision for you.” He shared the vision and I told the group I had been praying for a few days for the gift. The group began praying for me, I felt the Holy Spirit in a way I have never felt before. It’s hard to put words on the feelings I was experiencing, but the Holy Spirit fell and God gave me the gift of tongues.
I’ll be honest I don’t understand much about the spiritual gifts, I’ve always been taught they don’t exist anymore. But I do know that He has so much that He wants to pour out if only I will ask. I think one of the worse things that can happen is for me to get to heaven, and God show me everything He had for me if only I had asked. There are 6 month of the race still to go, and I fully believe that He has only started, not just in my life but in the lives of my teammates and squad mates as well.
"I could hold on to who I am and never let You change me from the inside"
All Sons and Daughters
