If I had followed my instinct I would have written this blog before debrief and I would have told you about how God is teaching me to trust others and to trust Him in areas I haven't yet. I would have told you that God revealed to me the many ways that I don't trust my friends and family. Things as simple as when someone asks, "Can I help you?" and I respond, "No, thanks" because I don't trust they will do the job as well as I would do it. I would have told you about the lessons God has taught me through different women in the Bible like Tamar, Rahab, and Ruth. They trusted in a God their people didn't even follow or believe in and how their faith changed history! (Side note: have spent the past 2 weeks falling in love with the women of the Old Testament.)
Unfortunately, I didn't write this blog until now (Friday afternoon). Last night I was faced with a new challenge of trusting not only God but my squad coaches and leaders. You see last night over dinner we were informed our team would be split up as a result of team changes. Team changes weren't that big of a surprise. We knew some changes would happen. I was prepared for those and I found it easy to trust the coaches and leaders with those changes. It was the change I wasn't expecting that I'm struggling to trust.
I'm a very one on one kind of person. I don't need lots of friends, I don't even want lots of friends. I long for a handful of friends who will be real with me. Who will call me out when I'm doing something I shouldn't. Who will give me the facts and not try to sugar coat them. Someone I know when I ask them to pray about something I know they will. Someone who is true to their word. Someone I can have fun with and just be goofy. Someone I can….TRUST. I found that person on Fire Starters. We connected for the first time on the first day of ministry in Honduras and I love to see how our friendship has grown over the past 2 months. Over dinner it was announced my friend would be moving to a different team and my heart broke. The one thing I have prayed from the beginning of the race was that when I found a good friend that God would not separate us.
So here I am….feels like I'm learning to trust all over again. I know God is faithful and everything happens for a reason. I know in my heart that God can always be trusted. Even when prayers aren't answered the way I want them to be I know I can trust Him. I know I can trust Him with my friend. Even more than I, He only wants what is best, even though as humans we don't understand. I have to give our friendship to God and trust Him to keep it!!
This month there is no huge revelation to what God has taught me, obviously I'm still learning. I will keep trusting Him and continue walking. Even when all I can see is one foot in front of me!!
Fire Starters!!! Thank you for everything you have taught me over the past 3 months. I am excited to see what God has in store for each of you in this new chapter of this crazy adventure called The World Race. Will pray for you each and every day. Love you guys! Putting you in God's hands and trusting Him with you.
