This month’s word of the month has been forgiveness. This word was given to me by one of my squad leaders, KK. I cringed when she gave me this word, because I knew there was past hurts, and unforgiveness I was holding onto. You see, the tricky thing about forgiveness is that some people and some offenses are easy to forgive. You just say the words and it’s a done deal and you forget about it. Then, there are the BIG hurts that aren’t so easily forgiven. These are the things you might be able to say, “I forgive you” but in 10 minutes you need to forgive them again, and tomorrow and the next day.
I started the month by asking God to reveal to me people from my past that I needed to forgive or to ask forgiveness from. When He started showing me things my first response was oh that person will be easy, or wow I didn’t realize I was holding onto that one. As the month went on God daily showed me people I needed to forgive or seek forgiveness from. At first I was embarrassed because the list just kept growing. Some of the offenses were so long ago I was embarrassed to even bring them up, so I tried reasoning with God. “God they probably don’t even remember this so we can just move on.” His response was simple, “Forgive.”
Occasionally I was reluctant, and God kept reminding me of the passage in Matthew 18 of the unforgiving debtor. And in Matthew 18:35 he addresses the fact that if we refuse to forgive like the debtor that he will not forgive us, “That’s what my heavenly Father will do to you if you refuse to forgive your brothers and sister from your heart.”
There have been people in my past that have hurt me in ways I’ve grown up to believe that their hurts were too much to forgive, those people had hurt me in unforgiveable ways. God reminded me of Matthew 18:21-22, “The Peter came to him and asked, “Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?” “No, not seven times,” Jesus replied, “but seventy times seven!”
If anyone has the right not to forgive it would be God himself!! My sins, our sins put His one and only son on the cross! My sins crucified my Savior. So how can I deny forgiveness to anyone else? Daily I come to God asking for forgiveness for big stuff, small stuff, and everything in between!
Living in community has taught me a lot about forgiveness. DAILY I have to forgive teammates, and have to seek forgiveness from them. I have learned I need to be in constant prayer and in a close relationship with God, praying to see people with His eyes and show His love to them. Definitely not something I can do out of my own strength. In my own strength I see everyone’s flaws, reasons not to love, reasons not to forgive. In His strength I see people through the cross, and as God’s creation.
Even as I write this my team has been challenged to forgive in a way none of us saw coming. I ask you to pray for us as we begin working through this situation. We take comfort in knowing nothing takes our God by surprise, and He is always with us guiding our steps.
Forgiveness is only possible because He forgave me before time began.
