I tend to make decisions rather spontaneously. One might see this as a great trait to have, to be so carefree. But equally as spontaneous is the way I change my mind. From the length of my hair to whether or not I should go back to school, I can never make up my mind. Even on the days I think I have made a decision, hours later I’ve changed my mind completely. As my decision to move forward in applying, accepting, and now fundraising for The Race became so real, I prayed to God that this would not be one of those times. In ways I can’t explain, God answered. He placed reassurance in my heart like I’ve never felt before.
Here’s how it happened.
Last December I was in my apartment, pretty upset about the way things had been going for me. I had made the decision to leave school again and I just wanted to know what was next for me. I had forgotten who the real planner of my life was and I was sure that by the end of the night I would have a perfect layout of what the next year of my life would look like, because that’s what spontaneous Megan does. I began searching for jobs and internships and then somehow came across a few mission trips. My heart leaped onto the idea of traveling during my time off from school. After further research and seeing the five-digit numbers that it would cost for me to do missions, I closed my laptop. Megan and money never mixed. You could ask any of my parents and they would tell you that any time the word “money” came up in a conversation, the angsty teen that every parent is warned about would make her grand appearance.
I pushed the idea of missions for myself aside, but continued to cheer on close friends around me, who God had called to do what I prayed would someday work out for me.
The best thing about all of this is that God has always known that I would go on The Race. (What a guy!) It wasn’t me who pushed the idea aside. It was God on His throne, looking at my list of life. He saw the unchecked boxes that were ahead of The Race. He had a list of people I still needed to meet, words I needed to hear, nights that would break my heart, and days that would bring me to life. He placed little hints along the way that my naive heart looked past at the time, but are now so obvious to me. He called Madi to Haiti, where she has obediently returned every single year. He then started sending Harley to do the same. He sent Olivia to the Dominican Republic for a month and is now calling her to a life of teaching English in other countries. He brought Kendra into my living room, where she poured out her words about Jesus and The Race to not only me but also to my mom. (God was giving her hints too!) God gave me Noah, as well as a front row seat to his preparation for The Race. One night this past summer, Noah even said to me, “You should do The Race.” I laughed and said, “You’re crazy,” and then Noah said, “No, really, you should.”
(I laugh at this now because I imagine God in Heaven putting those words into Noah, SO obviously telling me to go, and then shaking His head, smiling and saying, “Oh Megan, if only you knew.”)
God asked me to send money to Kat, someone I’ve never even met before, but is currently on The Race. He then placed me in church one Sunday in September, where someone spoke about mission trips to Africa and Haiti. A week later, He led me to an info meeting to learn more about those trips. He sat me down in a coffee shop with Sara, to learn about a mission trip to Jamaica. And then finally, God sat me next to my step-mom, Angie, and she told me that missions were something that she could see me doing. We opened my laptop and once again, I saw the numbers and told her that I could never come up with that kind of money. She reassured me and told me that it was something she and my dad would love to financially support me in, and that with fundraising, God’s sovereignty, and relentless prayer, it would be possible. I sat in shock, cried many happy tears, and then got in my car to go home. While I was driving, God told me to run. Not from anything, but to literally go for a run. So I did.
While on my run, my head was all over the place. It couldn’t grasp the conversation I had just had. The faster my legs went, the louder my head became, so I stopped. I sat down on the ground and caught my breath as the song “Tremble” began to play through my headphones. More tears. After the song ended for the third time, I took my headphones out and my mind was quiet. Not a single ounce of worry was in me, and it was a feeling that I will spend the rest of my life striving to make a home in. Perfect peace.
I launch in October, which seems so so so far away, but my list of life still has unchecked boxes before The Race. I am so excited to spend the next 10 months sharing and preparing with all of you next to me. One of the biggest pieces of preparation for this trip is the fundraising. If you feel it in your heart to give, no matter how big or small, I would be so overjoyed. I am so thankful for the ways that people have already started giving, both financially and in prayer. God is good, so so good.
To wrap things up, I’ll leave you with two links to keep handy.
First, watch this video of the song “Tremble.” And then watch it again.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OPw5oK3j4lk
Second, the link to my page for The World Race, where you can see more blogs, and where you can DONATE! 🙂
https://meganwidner.theworldrace.org/
love & love & love,
megan
