There is so many meanings of the quint word of JOY. For me, the word overflows my body with peace and encouragement. I remember when I felt the word joy for my first time coming into my trip. It all started at training camp. The night we had a teaching about the Holy Spirit, joy fueled my body in a whole new way. We’ll get back to that soon!!
When I was little, I was always joyful. Making sentences that never ended, showing off my dimples, dressing up, following my parents or brothers around the house just to be near them, cooking with my dad and always wanting to be in front of the camera. All kids have joy, but I know in my heart my loved ones saw something special – I’m beginning to learn what that was.
For a long time, especially in high school, I felt alone, worthless, stupid and down right not good enough. The friendships I would build would bring me closer to a me I wouldn’t recognize. I could never hold my ground of finding out who I am truly supposed to be.
Months before I came onto the field, I would cry in my room feeling like I had nobody, and definitely not God. My dad said to me, “you just want to be in Nicaragua don’t you” my heart shattered. It never hit me so hard. Throughout all of that hardship, I see now how God is working through me and why I desired to be here so bad.
It was my time to find my identity – when I knew that was starting, I felt nothing but joy. Others can see it in me as well.
The Holy Spirit filled my body in a way I don’t think I could be able to begin to explain. All I know is I felt peace, power and God himself. I started to cry – not out of loneliness anymore, but knowing I’ll never be alone again.
I have learned more in this past month than I ever have my entire life – about myself, worship, the Bible, friendship, leadership and thankfulness (definitely not all but there’s some!) every time I think of anything I have learned – I feel pure JOY!
I could really go on forever about how God has moved me and let me feel the presence of joy but for now I will end with this:
The joyess little girl I once was still lives within me. Being patient with myself and with the Lord will teach me who he knows I can become – and that will be amazing. Knowing every time I feel joy, it’s me living and breathing another day within Gods kingdom serving under his Holy name. What’s better than that?!
Also another side note I wanted to say but forgot to add in is vulnerability. My parents will be filled with joy when they read this next part:
God has been teaching me so well that being vulnerable is so so important. Opening up my heart to share what God is intending me to brings nothing but a closer relationship, trust and determination to be better. Nothing can be bad from being vulnerable. You can hear advice you may need that day, week or years from now. It brings in more of God to work on you every day closer to where you belong.
Stop, breathe, let God help you speak even when you can’t yourself.
Once again there is SO MUCH MORE I could share but I’ll stop my rant for now :))
Love and miss all of you!
Xoxo, Mickie
