The World Race is not entirely what I expected it to be at all.
I thought it would be a trip in which I was changing the world and making a difference. A trip filled with loving on orphans, healing people, preaching/evangelizing, leading people to Jesus, etc. Don’t get me wrong, that stuff DOES happen, just not non-stop like I thought it would. The World Race is amazing, but not in the ways I was expecting.
The World Race is hard.
I thought it would be great all of the time. I thought I would constantly be happy and on-fire for God. There are days when I wake up thinking; God sent me on the coolest year ever, I am growing, learning and experiencing things that most people don’t. There are other mornings when I just miss home, my family, my friends, my church, the freedom to get in my car and just drive anywhere. There are days when I just want a bed. There are days when I don’t want to live in community or sing the same worship song over and over again. There are days when I don’t want to do ministry. There are days when I am angry, upset, and frustrated. See I did THE ONE THING THEY TOLD ME NOT TO DO;
I glamorized the Race!
I thought I would be the one changing people; when in fact, I am the one being changed! The kids in these villages where they have probably never seen a white person/westerner and may never see one again have melted my heart and taught me more things then I have taught them, guaranteed! People in villages who are living in poverty, who have “nothing,” by America’s standard are showing me faith that is not of this world; faith that is set in HEAVEN, faith that is BOLD, faith that is the faith God calls us to have! It is beautiful! I have gained so much from being in churches in services that are not in English. The presence of God’s Spirit during worship in these services are unlike anything I have ever been a part of! It is just reckless abandonment of everything and just straight pure and raw adoration for our Papa. It is beautiful!
I am learning how to let people help me.
I am learning to be less of a “people-pleaser.”
I am learning to not give in to my “approval-addiction.”
I am continuing to love myself, daily.
I am learning to hear God’s voice better.
I am learning better Spiritual discipline through spending more intentional time with Jesus in prayer and just sitting and listening.
I am learning to accept HIS plans/timing for my life, not trying to guess where/when/with who/etc and just going with the flow, TRUSTING what God has in store for me.
I am minimizing comparision in my life to other’s lives.
I am RESTING IN and AT PEACE with MY IDENTITY IN HIM!
So you see, I glamorized the Race. I may be making an impact in some of these communities but God brought me on this journey to work on the hard/messy stuff in my life. He is preparing me for the next season of my life. He is equipping me for whatever He is throwing at me next! And I am okay with that. I have a heart for missions and am doing missions, but what good am I really doing if I am not following what I am preaching to the people of the world?! God knew this is where I needed to be in this exact moment of my life. 27 years old, month 5 of the Race in Thailand.
We leave for Europe in like 2 weeks. It is insane. Thank you all for the continued support and prayers.
Love you all, God Bless!
