Hello! (forewarning, this will be a novel, so cozy up with a cup of Chai (India-style) or any other beverage preference, and enjoy reading about personally, what has been happening now that I have had time to think things through)
I am kind of in shock that this may be my last blog from India. This month’s assignment has been kind of tough with giving me time to process all of my feelings. It has also not been easy to access WiFi; therefore, sending common emails, uploading photos, writing blogs, which are all SO easy to do in America and we don’t even give it a second thought, takes FOREVER to do here. It has been frustrating at times, but it is okay. I have caught up on emails and pictures for the most part, having these past 2 days “off” have provided ample time and patience for that to happen!
I promised that I would address some things from my blog, “Hello India,” so I am going to do that as well as speak personally things about India that have been enjoyable and not so enjoyable. First, some random thoughts about India, for you to get a little bit more of a taste of India!
Thoughts while riding in an “auto”or “tuk tuk;” bumpiest rides ever, no street signs, beeping to communicate (no turning signals really), packing as many people as possible into one, lots of dust in your eyes, getting stuck on speed bumps, lanes are merely a suggestion
Things I have loved about India: the kids, the laughter, getting to know my team (and their strengths in ministry), chai, even some of the food hasn’t been bad, the colors in clothing, the hospitality (puts us to shame a little bit), the music, the language, being told I am beautiful or have a nice name or my hair is pretty, the social aspect where going to work is not necessarily the number one priority like it is in America
Things I have not loved about India: no freedom to come and go wherever/whenever I want, no privacy, being stared at constantly (pretty sure we are the only “white” people some of these people have ever seen in real life), babies/toddlers being afraid of me and crying at the sight of me, the smells, no trash system, some of the food, “India time” – things don’t happen on time ever so you need to abandon schedules, which is very hard for me to do, mosquitos, how dogs are treated here
Those were just a few “fun” things I wanted to share with y’all to make India a little more understandable. Now for the deeper/harder/personal stuff!
As promised, I am going to try my best to elaborate on this “darkness” all of us have sensed here in India. I’m going to type up a journal entry I wrote on 1-28 and then add more descriptions in parentheses for y’all to understand a bit more.
“I honestly don’t even know where to begin. India has been quite the battlefield for spiritual warfare. We are under attack. Satan is not happy that we are trying to further the Kingdom in his territory. Sickness, nightmares, fear, and stuff from the villages are coming “home” with us and plaguing us. (For example, the other team out on their assignment prayed for a woman with kidney problems, that same night I got a kidney stone. I don’t think that was a coincidence). I know that God IS moving here though, there is just SO much darkness to overcome! In my prayers, something in my head has been trying to replace God and Jesus with Satan. (It’s terrifying and has never happened to me before). My team leader Abby, said she saw a demon standing/hovering over me, smiling, when I was writhing in pain on the bed (before we knew it was a kidney stone). We put Scripture on the walls of the rooms we sleep in and the rooms were also blessed (with prayer and frankincense.) It is hard. Not only am I being attacked physically, but mentally as well. Satan has tried to make me feel inadequate/like I have no place on the team/I’m too messed up to be here/etc. These are ALL lies and I rebuke them in Jesus’ name, but it just goes to show you that India is not all happy. I can’t even process everything that happens because so much happens. Jesus our healer, keep healing us inside and out. Father God, protect us with Your fierce love. Holy, powerful Spirit, continue to guide us in this darkness. I love You Lord.”
This spiritual warfare is hard to explain, it’s something that you need to experience to fully understand its power. The darkness over that second village I mentioned in my blog, “Hello India,” was just an uneasy feeling. There was proof of God in that village, but also the sense that we weren’t welcomed there (not by people but by a presence,) like we were being watched. It also can be emotions that come over you out of nowhere, doubt, comparison, rejection, inadequacy, etc. These emotions are not of God, so rebuke them in Jesus’ name and you have just dealt with spiritual warfare!
I am still processing everything in waves; however, I came to the conclusion that God was allowing these things to happen to me. He was allowing me to go through TRIALS so I could COME THROUGH THEM EVEN STRONGER AND EVEN CLOSER TO HIM! My trials have reminded me of Job, with God allowing him to experience many tribulations and I was reminded of Paul, when he had a thorn stuck in his side that was crippling. The sufferings that these men went through were horrible; however, in the end, they realized God was stretching them, making them even better versions of themselves because they were becoming more like God.
I have had many passages and verses that I have been reading, almost daily, to stay rooted in the Word. One of these happens to be when Paul was talking about the thorn in his side in 2 Corinthians:
A Thorn in the Flesh
7 Because of the surpassing greatness and extraordinary nature of the revelations [which I received from God], for this reason, to keep me from thinking of myself as important, a thorn in the flesh was given to me, a messenger of Satan, to torment and harass me—to keep me from exalting myself! 8 Concerning this I pleaded with the Lord three times that it might leave me; 9 but He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you [My lovingkindness and My mercy are more than enough—always available—regardless of the situation]; for [My] power is being perfected[and is completed and shows itself most effectively] in [your] weakness.”Therefore, I will all the more gladly boast in my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ [may completely enfold me and] may dwell in me. 10 So I am well pleased with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, and with difficulties, for the sake of Christ; for when I am weak [in human strength], then I am strong [truly able, truly powerful, truly drawing from God’s strength]. Amplified Version
In my weakness, which are the trials that I have been going through, God is coming up behind me, supporting me, and making me stronger than I have ever been! I am able to put on the Armor of God daily, which I need to do even in America (Ephesians 6: 10-18). I am also reading Isaiah Romans 5:3-5 both in the Message translations because that’s what I brought with me! God is revealing so much of His love for me within these passages, as well as through the book, “Captivating,” by John and Stasi Eldredge, which I have just read for like the 5th time (or so). Every single female NEEDS to read this book, not even joking. I’m thinking about making some of the points they stress in the book as part of my life mission to preach to girls and women about. I don’t know, we’ll see if that is in God’s plan for me!
I have also had some awesome times just listening to worship songs and singing to God! One time, I know He was listening right with me because every time I would sing, “The sings my soul,” on the word “soul,” the sun would shine even brighter on me. It was truly a gift of thanks from God!
I am in a really good place right now, but I know the trials and tribulations are not over. I will continue to press through and use prayer as my defense against Satan and his demons. The Lord is with me always, I have nothing to fear!
Sorry this was a lot, as you can tell, I am still processing as I write this! Hope you could follow along! Thank you all so so much for the prayers! I have no specific request at this time except for traveling mercies for my squad. In the next few days we will be reunited in Hyderabad, India, and on Tuesday fly out to Nepal for ALL SQUAD MONTH! It will be a great time for sure! God Bless all of you! Thanks again so much for reading!
~Meg
“Even When It Hurts,” by Hillsong United has been my anthem lately so y’all should listen to it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Sv_876eqxg
