“At each stage of my life I would think ‘surely things don’t get more complicated than this.’ And then each time I’m proven wrong.”
My dear friend, whom I call my Iron Sister because of Proverbs 27:17, said this with wisdom far beyond her years. In the wake of losing her mom abruptly and unexpectedly, we sat in Starbucks and reflected on how much our lives have changed over the past year. In both amazing and difficult ways, like her getting married and my mom being diagnosed with breast cancer. For the first time, we are starting to grasp the tragic complexity of being adults; we’ve been confronted with heartbreak, illness, and death.
Those all seemed to be fictional, honestly. Stuff I read about in stories. Certainly not things that ever happened so close to home. Not to me. Not to the ones I love.
This week as I mourn with my beloved Iron Sister, I am reminded of John 1:5, “the light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.” God shines through the cracks of a broken heart. No matter what pain I’m going through, no matter how many tears fall.
He is not threatened by disaster, nor is He embarrassed by sobbing. He doesn’t flinch at the storms of life, nor does He shy away from pain. He embraces us in the midst of our struggles and heartache. That’s when He does His best work – because we are humbled and vulnerable, our defenses have crumbled and finally revealed the parts of us which most need the touch of God.
Some days I’m in the light, like I can literally feel God’s blessings surrounding me. But some, I’m in the dark, looking at the light, wishing it would shine on me again and I level with Job. When he exclaims how his heart yearns within him to see God face to face one day, I feel my heart cry out for the same comfort of being in the presence of God.
Until then, I’ll keep looking towards His light. No matter what darkness surrounds you, His light can break through. Our lives are messy, but God isn’t afraid of a little chaos. When the storm rages around you, step out onto the waters where Jesus waits, arms open, ready to help you through it.
Yes, in life there is much pain, but take heart dear ones; He has overcome this world.
“I know that my redeemer lives,
And that in the end he will stand on the earth.
And after my skin has been destroyed,
Yet in my flesh I will see God;
I myself will see him
With my own eyes – I, and not another.
How my heart yearns within me!”
~ Job 19:25-27
