For the first time in months, I’ve finally felt a spiritual release. One that I didn’t quite realize was there. As soon as we got to Asia I’ve been tired, disconnected from the Lord at times, my mind was foggy, I was irritable, and I didn’t have the motivation to wake up early and spend time with Jesus like I wanted to, so that became my normal. I thought I was doing everything I could to get my routine back, it was just the change of environment that was messing with me. In a sense it was… a change of Spiritual environment. These past few weeks I’ve seen God reveal Himself and His love to me, chasing me down and drawing me closer to Him. Seeking me out personally, and helping me fight off the devil.
In Vietnam, I was tired all the time, and by the end of the month I was getting feisty. In Cambodia, I couldn’t sleep at all. From the first week of Thailand I had contracted food poisoning and a UTI, so I was down for the count for a few days, and then every night I went to sleep one or both of my arms would fall asleep and become numb, all throughout the night. My sleep would be restless, but I would wake up feeling rested enough to get up and seek out the Lord. While that was going on I began to have very evil and sadistic dreams, really vivid ones that I couldn’t make out the meaning of. I’ve asked God to communicate with me through dreams before, but this was like nothing I had experienced before. God is not the author of confusion, and I was at a loss at how to interpret these things. I didn’t want to go back to sleep because I didn’t know what I was going to see. Unknowingly, the enemy chose to attack me at my most vulnerable state, tired or asleep.
Every morning before ministry, a couple of my friends and I meet to have quiet time and pray about the day and listen to whatever God is telling us, so I told them about my dreams and the sleeplessness, we prayed that God would take away the dreams if they were from the enemy, but if He was trying to communicate something to me then that I would have more dreams, because I don’t want to cut myself off from God.
Days went by without much change in my sleep, but I began to hear from God more and have a desire to wake up early and be with Him. I felt like our connection was growing stronger, and we were going deeper in our relationship, and that was something I was desperately wanting since Bulgaria, but it was almost like I just couldn’t get to that point. No matter what I did, it just stayed the same. I desired to grow and learn more about Him. Since God is endless, our relationship with Him has the ability to keep going deeper far beyond what we can comprehend. It’s our decision whether we choose the route that takes us farther down the narrow road, and I was all over that choice.
One night we all just took some time to talk and learn about intersession as a team, and half of us got a word or picture of love, and the others got the word abandonment/fear. We talked about what we got out of those words and the verse from 1 John 4:18 came to mind: “There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear.” Just another word from the Lord about wanting to drive out the fear in our lives and bring us to a place of peace, and I just love how God speaks to all of us about one subject, just very uniquely.
Last Friday a couple of the long term missionary girls led us in learning about the R3d Li6ht Di$trict, and how they have build connections with the people there, what goes on, and how to pray for the city. They ended in a worship/prayer session, and 16 of us girls just cried out and prayed to God and worshiped Him and praised Him for His goodness. The Holy Spirit just poured out His presence onto each soul and encouraged us, strengthened us, and gave us a time to be alone with God together. We prayed over the building and each mind that all evil would be eradicated from our presence. We prayed over sleep and dreams that we would have peace and clarity. Singing “God of This City” a song that was written for Chiang Mai, declaring that this place we stand is holy ground and that God would move throughout the streets and bring healing and restoration.
Let me tell you, I have not been more in love with my Abba than I am right now. The spiritual warfare was strong, and at times it felt like I was surrounded and couldn’t think straight. But God continues to remind me that I have authority, I have an entire army on my side, and He gives me everything I need to fight back against the enemy. Putting on my armor, praying bold, specific prayers, gives me the upper ground and the enemy must flee. Inviting God into every aspect in my life, doing away with sin leaves nothing for the devil to hold on to. I have a deep desire to be devoted in love to Abba as much as He is to me. That doesn’t mean the Devil won’t try to attack again, because that’s just who he is and what he does best, but each battle won for me is just strengthening my relationship with God.
I left that room feeling like I was floating. From that night on, the vivid dreams stopped, I slept with so much peace and rest, and woke up each morning refreshed.
And finally for the past 2 months,
hallelujah, I feel free.
