If I am honest, for the last couple of weeks I have felt dry in my spiritual life. Prayer seemed one sided, I felt like I was just going through the motions during ministry, and I was not making a lot of time for Jesus throughout the day. Interesting enough, I was not the only one; some of my teammates had similar feelings.
I wondered…am I going through the mid-way funk? I have been on the field for over five months now and the newness of travel and adventure has worn off.
I decided on Saturday night that I was tired of being tired, and sick of feeling dry and distant from Jesus. At the beginning of the race we were pretty tight and I wanted that intimacy back.
So I set my alarm and got up with the sun. I walked my sleepy self up the stairs to the roof and plopped myself down at Jesus’ feet. I was ready to hear from him. I apologized for not being around so much and for choosing extra sleep instead of time with him. (Jet lag is a real thing). And we began to have a sweet conversation.
Feeling like life was coming back into my spirit, I made a brave request. I said, “Jesus, please give me an opportunity to step out in faith and be bold about my love for you today.” I also asked him to make this opportunity clear and for him to show up.
Feeling a lot lighter, I walked back downstairs and joined my team for a long day of children’s ministry. We had one service in the morning in the village, and another one in the slums of Poipet in the afternoon. The kids were adorable and bursting with energy. They hung all over us demanding any love we could give them. We had a blast, but by 4pm we were all pooped.
We had a few hours to relax at our favorite coffee shop before the evening church service at New Life. I sat down and scrolled through my pictures from the day trying to find one to post on instagram. In the middle of deciding on a good caption I felt a nudge by the Holy Spirit.
I instantly felt convicted for turning my ministry switch off and seeing this as strictly “me time.” I was also reminded of my brave request to Jesus that morning. I tried to pretend he wasn’t talking to me, but I knew I was supposed to look around and see what opportunity was in front of me. Reluctantly, I looked up and saw a young man sitting by himself at the table next to us.
NO.
No, I do not want to walk up to a complete stranger and start talking to him.
- I don’t know if this man speaks English
- I don’t know if it is culturally acceptable for women to walk up to a man randomly like that
- I don’t want to. He’ll probably think it’s weird, and I am tired.
I argued with Jesus for a few more moments, knowing that I had already lost the argument. I got up, walked over and asked the man, “Do you know English?”
I thought he said yes, so I sat down next to him. I asked him another question and it quickly become clear that he knew just a few words.
Genuinely interested, he got his phone out and had me use Google translate. Praises for Technology! Using the translator, we small talked for a little while. I then typed in his phone, “Do you know Jesus?” With a big smile he shook his head yes! He met Jesus while studying in Phnom Pehn.
How cool! Out of everyone in the world, God directed me to a brother in Christ. Which in Cambodia is like finding a needle in a haystack, since 97% of the population is Buddhist.
I asked if he had any prayer requests and he instantly shook his head yes. Since recently moving to Poipet, he has not been able to find a church home. I told him about the church we have been working with and invited him to join us for Sunday night service.
He smiled and said he would love to, and asked if he could bring his friend who does not know Jesus. OF COURSE!
He said thank you and I returned back to my table.
I sat there for a few minutes just smiling and thanking Jesus for getting me out of my seat. If I ignored his nudge, I would have missed out on talking to this man who may start getting plugged into the church.
That day I experienced the blessings that come from obedience. I also love stepping out in faith WITH Jesus.
Right before my new friend left he came over to our table with a note on his phone. He said “Thank you very much sister, I paid for your drinks.” And then he smiled and quickly walked away.
I was blown away by his kindness and generosity. I genuinely felt like it was actually Jesus paying for the drinks just to show how much he loves me.
All in all, fight for your time with Jesus. I am learning more and more that it really is worth it. Plus walking closely with him makes life so much more fun 🙂
