I thought I would change it up a bit this week and invite my friend Shelby to write a blog for me. I met Shelby my first year at college and over the next four years she become one of my very best friends. Shelby is a great teacher, lover of chai tea, babies, and watermelon, she is organized, goofy, kind, and cares deeply for others. I hope you can take a minute to read what God has been doing in her life for the last couple of years. Enjoy!
“When I started college, I remember listening to one my best friends talk for hours and hours about this place she loved. She had such a joy and passion when she spoke about this place. She had traveled to this place on several mission trips and could not have loved it more if she tried.
During one of her story sessions, I remember laying on the couch looking at her wall full of pictures from her trips. I stared at these beautiful faces, unsure of who I was looking at, but I remember feeling an unusual peace. Almost as if God was saying to me, “You don’t know yet, but one day you will.” So I waited. I didn’t know what the future had in store, but I was anxious to experience the love my friend was feeling.
In our last year in college, this same friend invited me to go on a trip to this special place with her. And I will be honest, my immediate reaction was fear. I was overtaken with anxiety and a million questions. Prior to this invitation, I had only been on one other international mission trip and it wasn’t to a third world country. What was it going to be like? How am I going to communicate? Where will we stay? What will we do? What is the agenda going to be like?
The planner side of me overtook every emotion. This was not on my schedule. My only mission field felt like the classroom at this point. But with every doubt, I was reminded of that peace. I could have kindly declined the invitation and continued to live in my happy little planned life. However, I got on the plane. And I fell in love. It was a hardcore, can’t stop talking about it, kind of love.
This special place is Nicaragua and my friend who was so passionate about it was Megan McKinley.
I was recently reading over my journals from Nicaragua, and shortly after arriving on my first trip there, I had written, “I have a feeling this is the start of many adventures to this place.” That first trip happened only two years ago. And two weeks ago, I returned from my fifth trip
back. Yes, five trips in two years. I in no way say this to brag or self promote. Instead, every time I
say that, I have a sense of awe. The girl who was freaked out to even step foot on the airplane two
years ago, is now already planning her next adventure back. God took every doubt I had and replaced
it with passion and a deep, deep love.
Now, I used to be someone who didn’t feel called to international missions. From an early age, God
made it clear to me that I had a gift of working with kids and one of my mission fields was the classroom.
However, over the last two years, God has been teaching me about love. Such a basic concept, but a
lesson I so desperately needed to learn about. I was so fortunate to grow up in a Christian home. I had
a mom and dad who worked so hard to show my brother and I the love of Christ. And I have grown
up with all four of my grandparents. I never had to experience deep pain or loss. It was just normal to
wake up each day with a good morning song and a big hug. I was constantly experiencing true love.
Over the last two years, God has only continued to expand my view of love. He has taught me that love
is not only moments of joy and bliss. Love can also be painful. It can be hard and confusing. It can
make you doubt and ask a million questions.
The girl laying on the couch years ago was easily anxious when talking with others about pain and sadness. I had not experienced those emotions deeply in my life and I constantly struggled to relate to those who did. I felt like the words I was saying were wrong and it made me nervous.
God has revealed to me the last couple of years of how to love people better. I now know what it is like to bring someone a small plate of food, knowing it is the only meal they will get for the day, and possibly even the whole week. I have seen brokenness and deep pain that I have never experienced before. I know what it is like to sit praying over someone who is experiencing great sadness, and their only hope left in this world is the simple words of a prayer. I know that you don’t need any language or any words to show love. And I know that God’s love and plan for our lives in far greater than anything we can comprehend.
During our trip this summer, our team was hit by a truck while traveling down a mountain road. Our van rolled after we were struck and the truck that hit us miraculously did not cause an explosion, considering it was carrying a full load of propane tanks. And incredibly, we all walked away from it with only a few stitches.
Now, if the girl on the couch had known that the future would be filled with love AND a horrible car accident…. I don’t think I would have ever gotten on that plane. But, even during that accident, God used every little bit of it for His good. He didn’t want us to get hurt. But he used that scary moment and made every piece of that story reflect his goodness. And I would tell you all these details, but that’s another blog in itself. Long story short… my life, as well as eleven others, should have ended that day.
Instead, we got to experience the power of forgiveness. We experienced peace in a scary situation. We learned that miracles really do happen and there is no reason for survival except for God. We learned that even when you feel like giving up, and when life isn’t how you expected, God has greater plans in store for you. We learned how to rejoice and give genuine prayers of thanksgiving. We learned the power of influence in our actions. Anger would have been the easiest answer in that situation, but we turned to prayer, peace, and love instead.
The time I have spent in Nicaragua has changed my life. I now have my own wall full of pictures. And this time I know the faces. I know the stories. I know the place and the mountains. And I have a deep ache to just go back and love some more. I did think Megan was just a little crazy with how many pictures she had. But God is faithful. And I can’t help but think of His small whisper years ago, “You don’t know yet, but one day you will.” Now I know. Now I get it. I have found another passion that has taken over every ounce of my body. My picture wall is constant reminder of joy and love for me. I look at the wall and I smile.
Now, I know not everybody is going to travel to a faraway place to experience this kind of love. And I’m thankful for a God who has created all of us so differently. We each have something makes our heart beat a little faster. Something that makes us want to fight a little harder. And so I am praying for you, whoever you are, reading this. I pray you use your passions to make a difference in this broken broken world. I pray that even in His whispers, you are listening. God has great plans for you. You were created for purpose. And I really believe He has given all of us a wall. So, what are you going to fill yours with?”
