I’ve been meaning to write this blog for a while now. God taught me a lot a couple months ago when my team was at a remote beach in Myanmar, and I’m realizing I’ve been learning more about it each day since, especially since being back home.
We flew into the large city of Yangon and stayed there about a week and half. It was our first “ATL” month, which means “Ask The Lord”. So you show up, ask God where he wants you during that time and what you should be doing. After door after door closing on us in Yangon, we felt the need to move somewhere else.
Personally, I was burnt out from ministry. We had been spiritually and emotionally exhausted from the past two and half months spent in India and Nepal. In a culture like India, it’s exhausting just to be there because it’s so unfamiliar. We had gone pretty much nonstop for two and a half months yet we knew God had something planned for us in Myanmar. I knew I felt a strong call towards nature. I just needed to be in a peaceful setting. I felt anxious and restless. I wanted to go to the beach, to feel the warm presence of the sun on my skin, to breathe, to relax, to feel human again.
As I shared with my team, several of them also felt a need to move, so we found a place on Maungmagan beach near Dawei who would house us in our budget. After an overnight bus ride, we piled into a tuk tuk (and I mean piled) and arrived at our hostel.
Our hostel was quiet, teeming with tropical flowers and cashew trees. I walked to the sandy beach and marveled at the remote view before me, my spirit filling with peace. Then the question “what will my ministry be while I’m here?” flooded my mind.
My dad had been to Dawei a couple years ago and knew a pastor in the area who needed help building houses. I thought about contacting him but the town of Dawei was actually about a 20 minute tuk tuk ride and because the beach we were on was so remote, it wasn’t super easy to arrange tuk tuk rides. I thought about the people on this beach, mostly local fishermen and their families who didn’t speak any English, the people working at the hostel, and the workers in a couple straw hut restaurants lining the shore. One thing I’ve learned is that ministry is everywhere where people are. I searched my thoughts for ways to talk to these people, but after spending only a couple hours there, it was clear communication wouldn’t be verbal considering we didn’t speak the same language. The beautiful thing about the Spirit of God is that it’s dynamic. It’s not confined to language, or to anything! There are so many ways to display Love without speaking.
The first few days without “ministry” at the beach, I didn’t feel relaxed or rested. I had this underlying guilt that I needed to be doing something instead of walking on the beach or swimming in the water. Most of my teammates felt the same way. One way we survived no structure in our days was to make our own structure (something we can apply to this quarantine life). At 8AM I would make my way down the beach to one of the giant rocks sitting where the tide went out. I would take my Bible and journal and just sit listening to the sounds of the ocean, watching the dogs (which became our friends) chasing each other around the rocks. I would read and journal, sitting in my thoughts, and sitting in the presence of God. It was there where God gently reminded me that His will isn’t for me to be “doing ministry” but to abide in His presence. I had been so caught up on “finding ministry” that I wasn’t able to enjoy the beauty of God’s presence and creation before me, when my purpose is to worship God.
Worship can look like a lot of different things. Sometimes it’s singing, sometimes it’s telling God how wonderful He is and how good He is, or sometimes it’s just adoring His work. I asked my teammates some of the ways they worship and these were their answers:
Casee: “One thing our host [in Costa Rica] told us was that our work was a form of worship. It is an offering or sacrifice to the Lord. So serving or working can be worship.”
Rachel: “At Bethel in Thailand they said worship is pouring yourself out so you can be filled with the Lord.”
Kelsey: “To me worship is an expression of a full surrender of your plans and will to the Lord.”
There’s no formula to it. It’s a heart thing. We had truly been pouring out for months straight without being in an environment where the atmosphere allowed us to refuel in the way needed. My heart needed filling. I needed to stop doing and just worship. Work should come out of worship, not out of a guilt to do something.
The two weeks we were at Maungmagan became a healing time for us all. Cuts in my heart were healed, spiritual confusion was brought to clarity, and physically I was thriving on seafood fried rice, smoothies, and moving on the beach (running, walking, swimming, beach soccer with locals).
The coolest thing about this time was that as I was marveling at the neon pink sunset every night, watching the local fishermen bring their wooden boats to shore with nets filled with fish, or the kids wading in the ocean, I was mesmerized by God’s creation and His beauty. I was excited for each day because I couldn’t wait to see where God would take me on that three mile beach, who I would run into, or what revelations I would have. Each day was an adventure with God.
Every evening after eating at the same seafood place (we alternated between two restaurants for dinner each night) I would head over to Freedom Beach Bar. The owner, bartender, and fire dancer (yes all the same incredible person) spoke english so if there were any tourists, this is where they would be. Usually there would be a handful of people there, around 5-10, some expats, some just on a short vacation, and others who were also traveling for a while. Going to Freedom Beach Bar became one of my favorite parts of the night. This is where I got to know people from all parts of the world searching for the most remote destinations. Those were some really fun people to talk to. But the coolest thing that I realized as I was sitting in conversation with someone was that I couldn’t tell my story without talking about who Jesus is and the role He’s played in my life. He always came up. The same things I would wonder about other people, they would wonder about me. Why are you here? Where do you come from? What are you seeking? Where have you been? We all have our own answers to these. But when you live life daily with Jesus, someone can’t get to know you without knowing a little bit more about Jesus himself. This led to some really neat conversations. And it led to me understanding why God had brought us to Maungmagan beach.
I learned a lesson that I can carry into each day of life–simply abide. Abide in God’s presence. In His presence we are made pure. In His presence we are sanctified. In His presence, we can worship out of the adoration for our Creator. Fruitful ministry is not possible unless we first abide in Christ. Our purpose in life is to abide in God’s love rather than just do do do. During this season of social distancing and quarantine, I’m reminded that it’s a perfect time to center all thoughts on Christ. To simply abide in His beautiful presence, allowing restoration and purification. Simply believe in God and trust that His words are purifying (1 John 3:3) And just ask God what you should be doing in this time, instead of feeling guilty for “wasting time”. His answer won’t be the same for each of us. He’s a personal God.
“We do not know what to do, but our eyes are on you.” 2 Chronicles 20:12
“If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. By this my Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit and so prove to be my disciples. As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in my love. If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commandments and abide in his love. These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full.” John 15:7-11
“And everyone who thus hopes in him purifies himself as he is pure.” 1 John 3:3
