Last night I was lying awake in bed around 2 am after tossing and turning for about thirty minutes (usually I’m out as soon as my face hits that pillow) and every time I would open my eyes I would see the contrast of the bright light coming through the cracks in my blinds against the darkness of my room. For a while, I just kept closing my eyes again and trying to ignore the light, but then I remembered that I was no longer in my college apartment. See, I graduated from college 5 days ago and my bedroom at my college apartment was right by the balcony walkway and always had bright light from the balcony pouring into it at night. However, my parent’s house is located in the suburbs at the bottom of a long street on a cul-de-sac and our front yard is a decent size. Street lights usually can’t be seen from my bedroom window and typically my room is pitch black at night.
I got up and curiously peered out my blinds in search of the cause of my bright room. An almost full moon stared back at me so white and clear against the dark night sky. I gazed at it in wonder for a while. The moon itself has no fire on it. It’s not the source of light. But it is a reflection of the greatest source of light this planet has–the Sun. I started to think… what if I existed as the moon does? The moon just comes into view when the Sun has gone down and humbly but boldly reflects the light of the Sun into the darkness. It’s like the Sun’s helper. What if I just showed up and reflected the glory of the most brilliant Light? What if we all aimed to reflect the Light wherever we existed?
I think a lot of times we, as people, get caught up in trying to be the Sun. We want to have a warm presence, we want to shine bright, we want to be the best, and we want to be noticed. And, we want it to be because of what we’ve done. Then this tiny but mighty evil called pride creeps in and sweeps us off our feet (right onto our butts!). Pride isn’t eternal and kills us from within. It tells us we are good because of what we’ve done, that we are capable of anything on our own. And, when we keep climbing by ourselves, we become exhausted. We start to realize that we will never be good enough. There’s always a threat that someone else will shine brighter and you will just become one of those distant unnamed stars.
Instead, when we bask in the light of the Sun, that light starts to soak into our soul. We are bright because the Holy Spirit is bright within us. We are filled with patience and awe of that great light source–God himself. We begin to feel the eternal fruits of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Our beings become less and less about us and more and more about the glory of God, the glory of Light, the glory of Love. It’s a freeing feeling. It’s a feeling of surrender. Not surrender like when a medieval king had to surrender his nation in battle knowing that the consequences might be having his head chopped off or becoming a tortured slave his whole life as well as having his family killed. It’s a surrender from all the things that have been causing anxiety, guilt, anger, and violence to a peaceful presence. The Holy Spirit carries grace, peace, forgiveness, hope, and love. We get to surrender ourselves to the best thing in existence. And then, we get to stand boldly in dark places because the Light is within us, shining through us, reflecting off us.
I wonder how much darkness would still exist if we all became moons…
Again Jesus spoke to them, saying, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.” – John 8:12
