It’s been a while since I’ve posted a blog, and for that I apologize. I know some of you really missed hearing from me and that means the world to me! Here is something that has been heavy on my heart recently.
Dang. Have you hear the song, ‘Tell Me the Truth’ by Steffany Gretzinger and Amanda Cook? Well I recently heard it for the first time and it hits me hard every time I hear it.
The song is about two friends sitting down and just telling the truth, even if it hurts or is ugly. Their hearts are open but the thing is, it’s not pretty. There is hurt, there is pain and I’m sure there was fear. But something she says is so profound — ‘love can mend what’s broken in me and you.’
Telling the truth of our ‘ugly’ feelings is really hard. I think most people have a tough time just saying the truth of how it is or how they feel for fear it will hurt someone or cause a rift in a relationship. But in all reality, conflict resolution is what keeps rifts from happening…it begins to bring perfect peace.
I think our society has fed us the lie that conflict resolution is a lack of peace…and we’re all fighting for peace, right? THAT ISN’T TRUE. If lies and hurts are just hidden, it causes the greatest lack of peace I’ve ever experienced or seen in relationships.
I have learned [and seen first-hand] that it can, and will, look ugly if never addressed. It will cause a rift…and that rift brings, not peace, but a lack of peace. I have seen myself pull away from friends or family members or hold resentment toward them because I let something that has bothered me be swept, almost literally, under the rug, never to be seen again…or so I thought. I let it get lost in the lie of,
‘It’s ok, no need to deal with it. Just ignore it, it’ll pass.’
But let’s be honest, it will almost always come back up. We may never be forced into addressing conflict or specific hurts, but in my experience, it can manifest itself in different ways.
For me, it has caused me to pull away from someone I love, hold something against them that they probably have no idea they did, or simply believe them to be a person who can’t handle conflict. Yet how ironic is that?…I’m the one avoiding the conflict.
Choosing to avoid the tough conversations is simply choosing to not love those around you well.
Bold statement, I know. But I truly believe that when we consciously choose to not address our hurts and sit with our hearts open and with a desire to understand, we are choosing to not love that person well.
Tough conversations, conflict resolution, hard feedback, squirmy things, and ultimately displaying true love in a different and raw way and hopefully complete restoration are in my future. I encourage you to sit with those who have wronged you, those who hurt you, or maybe those you’ve hurt.
Love can mend what’s broken…and loving them well may look like addressing the tough things. Don’t turn away from what could bring peace, love and restoration.
