Somehow, somewhere, six months flew by and now there are only six months until I launch. It’s the longest&shortest six months I’ve ever had. I’ve still got 10,000$ to raise, if, you know, you’re looking for something/someone to support. And a heartfelt thank you to those of you who have already.
I’ve spent a lot of the last six months carrying around a bunch of junk. No, I’m not homeless—I mean emotional baggage: the stuff that’s too big for the overhead carry-on bin. It’s exhausting; carrying the weight of my sin is unlike any suitcase.
Why on earth, you ask, am I trying to do such a God-sized job like that? Because it’s mine, and I own it, and it’s strangely comfortable, and I deserve it, and I am unworthy. I am consistently selfish, uncompassionate, and in no way Christ-like. The number of times I internally groan and repent each day is baffling. When will I learn to not gossip? Or to not judge people so quickly? I know better.
But Jesus didn’t die on the cross so that I can chain myself to my sins. He was thinking about me when He died, and rose three days later so that I can be free. It’s a gift that we have to choose to accept every single day. He offers mercy— compassion when I deserve punishment—but I have to receive it. I am definitely not worthy of that kind of love. Let alone the grace—salvation! I get to be showered in His love, and spend eternity with Him in Heaven, when I did nothing for it.
I feel a shift happening. I’m transitioning from bearing the guilt and shame of my past to embracing the joy that comes with the Resurrection. I get to spend the next six months practicing this newfound lightness before trekking into darkness where my little light will face a whole new set of trials.
This little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine.
