I didn’t want to be the leader. I still don’t.
If you haven’t read ‘Part 1: I didn’t want to be the leader.’ you may be a smidge confused.
Read that one. And then come back.
……
Welcome back.
It’s true. I still don’t want to be the leader. I don’t want to lead 50 people around the world, to places I’ve never been, into languages I don’t speak, to do things I’ve never done, to navigate a journey I do not yet know. I don’t want to be in charge of caring for the spiritual lives, emotional growth, and physical journey of this Squad. Even though I said yes to Squad Leading, I still don’t want to be the leader.
It’s a good thing I don’t have to.
Because no one could ever fill that role the way Christ does.
I was doing some listening prayer for the Squad, shortly after we arrived at our ministry location in Ghana. (Listening prayer is exactly what it sounds like; sitting in the presence of the Lord and listening to what he has to say.) I was a bit overwhelmed when I looked at the scope of this role as Squad Leader and I needed the Lord to speak like only he does.
Me: Lord, what do I do? I said yes to you, and I know it was the right answer, but I’m not sure what this role even means.
God: Rest, my child. I am the one who does ministry. I am the one who changes hearts, transforms lives, transforms squads. Jesus himself said, “I only say what the Father tells me to say. I only do what the Father tells me to do. I only fulfill the will of the one who sent me.” This is your ministry too. You are not here to change the squad. You are here to listen to me on behalf of the squad and speak to them, do, give, show, etc., only what I give you. You simply pass on the will of the Father to them and I will do what needs to be done. Rest, listen, share. This is your first ministry as a Squad Leader.
Boom. Well that’s a rap.
I am only human. I will make mistakes, act selfishly, fail to see the bigger picture, impose my own opinions, overreact, cast judgment, and seek human approval. As much transformation as the Lord has done in my heart and mind, I am far from perfect and I could never lead this group of my own strength.
But Christ, he is the perfect leader. He always submits to the Father’s will, acts with generosity and patience, sees the bigger picture of his kingdom plan, delights in showing mercy, showers us with grace, meets the needs of his children, points people to the Father, speaks truth and life, proclaims forgiveness and freedom, is approved by the Father, renews hope, reconciles relationships, gives power, direction, council, authority, healing, and joy through the Holy Spirit whom he has sent to dwell in us as his constant promise and presence. Christ is perfect love, complete hope, true sacrifice, full obedience, faithful servant, everlasting Lord.
This is the leader of our Squad; not just because of what he can do, but because of who he is! So I will spend every ounce of my strength allowing him to do so through me. My ministry will be pointing to the one who does the ministry. My leadership will be listening to and submitting to the only true leader and helping my fellow squadmates do the same.
That is a role I can get behind.
I still don’t want to be the leader. It’s all up to Christ, the first and faithful leader of this group. But I am the willing vessel and I will use the authority given to me to point others back to Christ, to help them submit to his reign, and to encourage them to walk in his ways. I find no greater passion or purpose than this. It’s what I was created to do; point others to Jesus and the kingdom of God and to stand in awe of all Christ will do. So that is my ministry as Squad Leader and I will do it with joy and passion to see this squad fall more deeply in love with Jesus.
I am not my own. It is Christ who lives in me. He must increase and I must decrease.
Thank God for that.
