I have been off the field now for two weeks. I can’t really believe
‘it’. I’m also 
wondering with ‘it’ is. I’m highly confused, as the transition into home (or
Greality as I like to call it) has been weird. The weirdest part is how easy it has been.
Sure there were those first couple days were I literally secluded myself into
my house, not wanting to talk to anyone other than my parents and two best
friends. Or how I feel like I’ve been gone for ten years, 10 minutes, or the race was simply just a dream. But
things are starting to flow a little better…
By far, one of my most favorite things that I get to do
again is drive.
I was terrified at first to actually get out on the road again, but it was like
I never quit driving in the first place. It’s good to be behind the wheel
again…
Thanksgiving was all that I could have hoped for, with heaps of family members and close friends there to celebrate. I loved seeing everyone again.
To be honest, my time at home has been consumed with thoughts of money. I
have a lot to do in the future (like next month) and things to take care of,
and I only just now started babysitting to make a little money. I’ve noticed, time and
again, that He’s simply calling me to relax.
I got really sick a week after being back (welcome home!!).
I started to get chills and body aches, followed by a nasty cough, headaches,
earaches, then a fever. And the fever kept getting higher. And higher. I’ve recently learned that the most
dangerous temperatures are 104 degrees and higher. I had a 103.8. But do you want to know what I
was thinking about? I was thinking about how I didn’t have insurance or money. My brain
was literally cooking,
and I was freaking out
about money. How selfish and doubtful am I? I finally came to my senses and
went to the doctor and found out that I had pneumonia.
I remember multiple conversations I had with people on the
race concerning money. I remember telling my teammate, when money didn’t seem
to be coming in for funding the race, “you have to trust Him. He brings things at exactly the right
time, just trust.�
And then I remember a rebuttal being, “I hate depending on other people to give money.�
I
relate to this now more than ever. And I laugh at how smoothly I find myself in
this situation.
And I’ve had to tell myself my own response to that comment,
“then you’re not
depending on God to lead and the Body to provide, which is its function.�
Ouch. I’m learning. I now kick myself for flippantly saying the
phrase “God’s economy is always great� because now I have to actually believe that
and trust that.
I set out for G42 in less than a month. My plans for fundraising
have had to be put on
the back burner while I recover from pneumonia. Am I
freaking out about money? Not as much as before. What am I doing to focus and believe that
God will take care of it? I’m holding fast to those words:
God provides
at exactly the right time.
I have to
trust and depend on God to come through for me,
because He
says He will.
I know, with the entirety of my being, that God is calling me to
be a Kingdom bringer and
go to G42. I will now declare,
with the entirety of
my being, that He
will provide my every need, at exactly the right time. I choose this day to trust Him.
