A Love That Never Fails: It Hit Me Like a Ton of Bricks
Testimony Part #2
“One thing I know that I have found. Through all the troubles that surround. You are the ROCK that never fails. You NEVER fail. One thing I know that I have believe. Through every blessing I receive. You are the only one that stays. You always stay. You never change. Your still the same. You are the everlasting God. You will remain. After the day is gone, and the things of Earth have passed. EVERLASTING GOD.”
This is the real story of a girl who met Jesus. Gave her life, and heart at the altar and then little by little slipped away from this unconditional LOVE.
You see, last year around May it hit me like a ton of bricks. My walls that God had build up around me had crumbled and my foundation was shaken. I had put my hope into something that gave nothing in return.
I tried to fill a love that only God could fill, with a relationship. I think people do this in marriages. They forget their first love, God. When a human’s love fails us sometimes we think that it’s God’s fault; in reality our expectations are set up for failure.
I met a newly converted Christian who was alive with the Spirit, and I knew that I was missing something in my heart. Something inside of me was seriously neglected. Little by little I started to feel sorrow in my heart for what I had done and I had truely realized that I was only hurting myself and God by choices I had made in my life.
I was searching for love, for acceptance, and for a missing puzzle piece. The only puzzle piece that fit after try after try after try, was God.
You see, when you meet Jesus, and experience his love for you, something supernatural happens and you want everyone to experience the peace and joy that you feel. Your heart starts to break for the things that break God’s heart. You start to go to extremes to try and get others to understand God’s grace, mercy, and love.
You want others to know the happiness that comes with a personal relationship with Jesus. It’s an overwhelming joy. It’s a full feeling that never goes away. Its a peace that surpasses all understanding. Yes there are times of sadness and suffering as well. You see Jesus went through these things too. However, its all worth it. It’s all worth an eternal life with God. I don’t know about you but it will all be worth being able to spend an eternity with GOD.
“I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit.”- Romans 15: 13
I started to fall away from God in highschool. I was looking for love in the wrong places, and turned to alcohol as a solution to problems that I felt were out of control in my life. I was searching for stability, for love and for an answer. Throughout College, peer pressure continued to influence me and acceptance of others around me seemed to be more important to me, than acceptance from God. Now, looking back I realize that God had surrounded and protected me wherever I went. It wasn’t one lucky break after another lucky break. It was a Father’s love and protection surrounding me, even when my actions were breaking his heart.
After making so many bad choices, I started to become more and more de-sensitzed to what God’s plans were for my life. You see what I didn’t realize was that my sin was separating me from God’s love, and every time I sinned it hurt God more and more. The amazing thing is HE STILL LOVED ME.
I had come across a passage one night that really spoke to me about Spirtual hearing loss; I think I also had heard it on the Christian radio station.
“They are darkened in their understanding and separated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them due to the hardening of their hearts. Having lost all sensitity , they have given themselves over to sensuality so as to indulge in every kind of impurity, which a continual lust for more”. -Ephesians 4:18-19
It doesn’t happen overnight.
It happens over a period of time.
So subtly that we barely notice it while its happening.
It sometimes creeps up on a Christian who is comfortable in their faith. One little sin, then another, and another. It is when our conscience becomes silent and our hearts hardened. Some don’t even realize they are too far gone.
This testimony is for all the Christians who have lost their “spiritual hearing”, you know, the kind you hear in your heart, soul, and spirit.
It gets to be an overwhelming feeling of thnking that can sneak in and take over. You begin to forget the promise of salvation and the forgiveness of God.
I didn’t realize that certain friends or company could corrupt my character or my relationship with God if I didn’t learn to gaurd my heart.
“Run from anything that stimulates youthful lusts. Instead, persue rightous living, faithfulness, love and peace. Enjoy the companionship of those who call on the Lord with pure hearts”. – 2 Timothy 2:22
I have since then realized something. There was a contant battle between what I was doing and what was living inside of me. God’s spirit was living in me and my flesh was fighting against it.
“The sinful nature wants to do evil, which is the opposite of what the Spirit wants. And the Spirit gives us desries that are the opposite of what the sinful nature desires. These two forces are constantly fighting eachother, so you are not free to carry out your good intentions.”
I had an inward battle inside of me. I know a lot of Christians can relate to this when they fall away from God.
The word says
” When you follow the desires of your sinful nature the results are very clear: sexual immorality, impurity, lustful pleasures, idoltary, sorcery, hostility, quarreling (aka fighting), jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, dissension, division, envy, drunkeness, wild parties, and other sings like these. Let me tell you again, as I have before, that anyone living that sort of life will not inherit the Kingdom of God“. Galations 5: 19-21
However if we have JESUS in our hearts and we obey God we can be controlled by the Holy Spirit which is Jesus living inside of us. We can confess our sins to him and tell him how sorry we are. It’s called repentance. Through repentance we can experience his full forgiveness. God says he wants to BLESS us and for us to BEAR FRUIT. I don’t know about you but that sounds pretty good to me!
Life controlled by the Spirit—–>
“ But the Holy Spirit prodcues this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.” -Galations 5: 22
When we are living by the Spirit (this is God within us not “GOD” AND “US”) Remember, we can’t do it without his help.
” Those who belong to Christ Jesus have nailed the passions and desires of their sinful nature to his cross and crucified them there”
So, no matter how much you have sinned or made the wrong choices God is still there with arms wide open to welcome you back to his love, with mercy and grace. For it is by grace we have been saved not by good works. Salvation can not be earned. It was already paid for us when Jesus died on a cross and nailed all our sins to it. God says our sins are forgiven as far as the East is from the West as long as we repent and tell God we are sorry in our hearts. This does not mean to continue to hurt God and expect forgiveness without true, heartfelt repentance.
I’m so grateful that God’s forgiveness for my sins doesn’t depend on what I have done. I am so gracious for God loving me and seeing through my mistakes. What a priceless gift.
This question is….Are you willing to accept, and live by this love?
I know I am. He wants to be your best friend. All that you want and need.
Let his grace and love be your guide.
” So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most”- Hebrews 4:16
Love in Christ,
Megan Nicole
