The Holy Spirit in Me
I'm sitting in the church, soothed by the sound of the rain slapping against the tin roof. This is the first real rainfall we've had since being in Conocoto. I'm reminded of Vancouver and my home, as only earlier today the sun was shining strong…
…Pondering my life, I am taken back to a when I was in high school. I remember feeling different from most of my friends, always questioning the deeper meaning of life, thirsting for knowledge and understanding of things unseen, ever curious and fascinated by the stuff not taught in school…
I remember thinking and saying, "I want to make a difference in this world. I want to make a change. I want to help people who are less fortunate than me…but how can I make a difference? I felt helpless. It seemed impossible.
In hindsight I now see how God was working in my life, before I even knew Him. Before I was even aware that His Holy Spirit was living in me. He knew that I would be sitting right here, right now, in Ecuador, then off to 10 other countries, spreading the Good News. For He originally placed that compassion for people on my heart, and the yearning to make a difference during my time on this earth. He placed that discontentment and restlessness on my heart; that feeling that something was missing, because I had not yet found the Truth.
"O Lord, You examined my heart and know everything about me. You know when I sit down or stand up. You know my thoughts even when I'm far away. You see me when I travel and when I rest at home. You know everything I do. You know what I am going to say before I say it Lord. You go before me and follow me. You place your hand of blessing on my head. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too great for me to understand! I can never escape from your Spirit! I can never get away from your presence!"
Psalm 139:1-7
I then think about my job at Cargill…how I would mindlessly sweep and shovel grain and dust for hours on end. And how He set that divine appointment for me to be sent to work with Tom that night…the night I would be introduced to Jesus Christ for the first time, almost 2 years ago now. I remember how my soul rejoiced in the Truth and how overwhelmed I was with His immeasurable love for me. From then on I would instead spend my hours laboring, praying to God, saying, "Please Lord, get me out of here! I'm so unhappy here, who am I helping? I know that I'm meant to do something more, something greater than this God…help me!" Every day I asked for a way out, not knowing what to expect…and He answered.
"Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For whoever asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened."
Matthew 7:7-8
It's cool to know that the Holy Spirit puts on your heart the desires of the Lord, causing you to pray and ask the Lord for the things that He already wants you to have.
Before leaving for the Race – before even being a believer – I found a poem I wrote when I was 10, talking about helping people less fortunate and how we should be thankful for having a roof over our head and food to eat.
As the rain continues to pour, I sit here in amazement, as I see His plan for my life coming to be, and realize how long ago He set this all into motion. How faithful He is! What perfect timing God has! Just as I was saved in perfect timing, I was brought on the World Race in perfect timing. And so will everything else be. What God does in time, He planned from eternity. And all that He planned in eternity, He carries out in time.
Who is the Holy Spirit?
Before Jesus' death, He promised the gift of "another Comforter," also called the "Spirit of Truth," or "The Holy Spirit." "What God has prepared for those who love him", Paul writes, "God has revealed to us by his Spirit…We have..received..the Spirit who is from God, that we may understand what God has freely given us."
(1 Cor. 2:9-12)
Without the Holy Spirit there would be no faith and no new birth – in short, no Christians. The Spirit testifies by illuminating: opening blinded eyes, restoring spiritual vision, enabling sinners to see that the gospel is indeed God's truth, and Scripture is indeed God's Word, and Christ is indeed God's Son.
The Spirit opened my eyes when I accepted Christ as my Saviour two Novembers ago, but it wasn't until Training Camp for the World Race this May, that I started to truly understand (though we can never fully understand the depths of His intricacies) and experience the Holy Spirit within me.
I cannot prove the truth of Christianity by my own arguments, nobody can prove the truth of Christianity except the Holy Spirit, by his own almighty work of renewing the blinded heart. But I can share with you one of my first and most impactful experiences of the Holy Spirit…
I was in Tennessee at Training Camp for the World Race. There was some hundred and fifty of us. We were doing an exercise where half the people would close their eyes, and the other half would go stand in front of someone they didn't know. With eyes still closed, I had to reach out and touch the person in front of me and pray over them. My heart started to race extremely fast. I was so nervous. Praying over someone was so uncomfortable and new to me, let alone praying for someone I didn't even know. I tried to pray but nothing would come out of my mouth. I waited, saw nothing…heard nothing. I was drawing a complete blank. I felt so terrible that I couldn't pray over this person, and so discouraged that I couldn't hear the Lord's voice like seemingly every one else could, that I started crying. One of the squad leaders, Bill, pulled me aside. The exercise went on while Bill had a past World Racer, Katie, pray over me. She took my hands in her hands. She asked God for peace, a quiet mind and a steady heart. Instantly, peace took over my body, my heart became steady, my mind relaxed and all of a sudden I just was. She started speaking in tongues and then she said, "Father, tell her Your Truth's."
I had never heard the Lord's voice distinctly before. But then He spoke to me, through His Holy Spirit in me, something only He could know. He said:
"Ever since you were little, you have never been alone. When you used to sit in your room, crying tear after tear…when you didn't think you had another tear left to cry…I was there…catching each and every one. I never left you. You were never alone. And I know you love and worry about your father, just know that I am with him right now. And all the shameful things you ever did…don't worry…because you are forgiven. All your sins were washed away when my Blessed Son was nailed to the cross. And I am also with your mother, comforting her and caressing her in her sleep. I'm also with all of your friends, soothing them in their sweet slumber."
And then I got this image of my friend sleeping in bed, and the Spirit of God, His Majestic Presence, hovering over top of him, looking down at him, lovingly and with care. And I felt peace.
And then He said to me:
"I know that you've been through difficult times, but you went through all you went through for a reason…and though I can't reveal why to you yet…I am going to use this in the future. I am going to use you in a great way, and you are going to make a difference in this world."
I was like "WHOA!!!!" As soon as He started speaking, I knew it was the Lord's voice and I started crying even harder, this time tears of joy. "Finally Father," I thought, "I hear you clearly and without question!" My body was filled with the presence of the Holy Spirit. It's hard to explain, but it's like an explosion of tingles starting in the back of my neck, shooting up into the back of my skull…then tingles simultaneously cascading like waves throughout my entire being, followed by an unexplainable peace.
It was UNREAL… Supernatural…
Now it happens all the time 😀
We are all His creations. He speaks to every one of us. It's up to us whether we listen to Him or not.
God made us with the intention that He and we might walk together forever in a love relationship. But such a relationship can only exist when the parties involved know something of each other. God, our Maker, knows all about us before we say anything; but we can know nothing about Him unless He tells us. This is why God speaks to us: not only to move us to do what He wants, but to enable us to know Him so that we may love Him. We are made to live in intimacy with our Creator.
The more I surrender to Him, the more He fills me with His Truth and Love and Goodness. Even when I don't necessarily have the physical feeling of His Spirit, I know He's there. For faith is believing in things unseen.
Have you ever noticed that Christianity is the only "religion" based in love, and love alone?
It doesn't demand you to do certain tasks to earn love. There's no motive out of fear, or focus just on getting into Heaven. It does not require you to pay your way to salvation. There's no hierarchy; even if someone is saved in their last hours, they are considered equal to someone who has been a Christian their whole life, in God's eyes.
But God gave us free will.
Ultimately God is not a controller, but He is in control.
If you so choose to be a part of it, this love is never failing, ever lasting and is THE MOST spiritual feeling you will EVER feel. I know this is true for me…
It's like someone placing the most AMAZING present EVER, right in front of you! And it has the prettiest wrapping and the shiniest bow. But you're not sure what's inside of it. You might think it's a good present for other people, but it has YOUR name on it. And only when you open it, do you truly know and experience it; the love and fullness that was meant for you.
"Dear friends, let us continue to love one another, for love comes from God…for God is Love. God showed how much He loved us by sending His one and only Son into the world so that we might have eternal life through Him. This is real love-not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins…No one has ever seen God. But if we love each other, God lives in us, and his love is brought to full expression in us. And God has given us His Spirit as proof that we live in Him and He in us…All who confess that Jesus is the Son of God have God living in them, and they live in God. We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in his love. God is Love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them. And as we live in God our love grows more perfect…There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love. We love Him because He first loved us."
1 John 4:7-17
