I cried last night for the first time since I have been here. A lot of people have cried a lot and been really homesick, but until last night that wasn’t something that I had struggled with at all. And then last night, nothing in particular happened, but I just began really missing home. And not only missing home, but missing familiarity. Don’t get me wrong, I have come to love Xenacoj, and absolutely adore my teammates as my new family, but obviously it’s just different! I found myself longing to sit and talk with someone from home, someone in my family, or one of my closest friends. Someone who knows me. As I lay in my bed last night, longing to be with someone who knows me, I decided to listen to music as I fell asleep. So I turned on my spotify and clicked “shuffle”. Out of all the songs I have on there, “You Know Me” began to play.
“You know when I rise and when I fall
When I come or go You see it all
You hung the stars and you move the sea
And still you know me”
I longed so desperately to be with someone who knows me, and in that moment I was so beautifully reminded of who really knows me. Absolutely no one knows me so deeply, or wants to know me so passionately as the one who created me. It is normal and it is ok for me to long for home and family and friends, but how often in life do I turn to what is familiar for comfort instead of turning to the true comforter?
Some might think that the song that began to play was just a song or a mere coincidence, and may think it silly that such a small thing had such a huge impact on me. But in that moment I felt the presence of the Holy Spirit so strongly and so sweetly revealing these things to me. It was no coincidence. There are still going to be many moments of homesickness throughout the 8-plus months ahead, but I am thankful that in my weakness, His strength is perfect.
-Megan
