This is me finally writing a blog, not writing a few sentences, giving up and starting over again. Surfing the net, watching House, eating dinner, watching the sunset or complaining about not knowing what to write about… these have all been my downfall and this is why this is the first you have heard from me in Malaysia. Having internet when I want it is not always a good thing. I figure since I have less than a week left in Malaysia before I head off into China I should give you an update. In China, I will be working with the underground church and for the safety of our contact and for ourselves we will not be on the internet meaning, you will most likely not hear from me again until I reach Ukraine. (Mom and dad I will call you before I go).
Our ministry this month has been working at a church in Georgetown, Malaysia that houses and trains blind residents.
We’ve gone in saying whatever you need done, we will do. For some, this has translated into re-categorizing the library and for others like myself, the tasks have changed daily. I’ve been able to dabble in different things they have going on – cleaning dormitories, taking down decorations, cleaning/setting up the room where they sell their hand woven baskets, ect. I’ve worked in the pastry shop, the pantry, the kitchen closest, the rice pantry, the laundry room, the dining hall, the computer audio room (putting audio books in a format that can be placed on CD’s), helped assemble folders (for every 1000 folders put together $1.30 is made), and yes, I’ve been in the library too.
It’s interesting to work alongside the visually impaired; I think I have misjudged their abilities in a lot of ways. To be taught more about computers by one or be served by amazing gentlemen who want to carry boxes for me or get supplies for me… I just have to make sure their path is clear and I don’t rearrange their things. It’s made me more aware of my surroundings and to the clutter that I leave in my wake. A welcoming smile just doesn’t cut it anymore.
Apparently the Christian organization is well known so many people get dropped off there by family or government, making it an interesting blend of cultures and beliefs. So, although I don’t have many interactions, the ones I do have I’ve never had at church. Some have been quite rocking, some sad, and others interesting and thought provoking enough to make it to my blog.
I was told at lunch by a 60 yr old man who lost his sight at 11 from measles that being blind is really no different. Trying to decipher if this is what he always thought, has learned to think, or he really has learned to be content in his circumstances is something I’m still figuring out.
Today while working beside an employee, knowing we were Christians, he asked me what church I’m with. I told him the last church name I attended but that I wasn’t with them, I came because of Christ, and that this group I’m with has many denominations working together. His next question was why Christians have so many denominations; it doesn’t make sense. I tend to agree. It doesn’t make sense, all these divisions. That was never what was intended and that’s why I tell people I come because of Christ and not a church body… not a Baptist, Wesleyan, Non-denominationalist, Lutheran, Methodist, etc (there’s just too many divisions!). I asked him how long he’s worked there and if he enjoyed it and he sadly told mehis old factory job was more preferable because there’s less gossip and more sense of community there. Family, there is something wrong. I know this was never intended either… Ghandi’s quote, “I like your Christ. I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ,” just played over and over again in my mind while he was talking about his time spent working within these walls.
The blind computer genius was extremely open with Ruth and me in finding out how he could be more desirable for woman. His heart had been crushed by a woman he thought to marry; being taken to her family home over Christmas to meet her parents only to have her father tell him, “If you were poor, I would even be ok with this. But you are blind so I can’t allow you to marry my daughter.” He, a Buddhist, and she, a Christian. He, thinking there is no difference, left broken-hearted and trying to figure out what love is. What he knows of love and all he had to offer was thrown back into his face.
The belief that all roads lead to heaven is extremely prevalent here. I’ve met a Buddhist whatever (“all religions leading to the same thing”), a Hindu Catholic, and I live in close proximity to 5 major religious gathering sites. I hate to tell you, but narrow is the road that leads to heaven and few ever find it. Faith in Jesus is the only way.
In other news, I recently watched the movie “The King’s Speech” and, placing myself in the prince’s role, I started to see a lot of things I was doing. For those that have not seen it, the prince has a stammering problem and the majority of the movie is the relationship between him (Bertie) and his speech specialist (Lionel). At one point, there is a scene between Lionel and his wife about pushing his patient (the prince) too hard because he recognizes how great the prince could become. His wife simply says maybe he doesn’t want to be great.
When the king dies in the movie, Bertie’s older brother is the only one who cries because now he is trapped into having to take the throne as king. However, his reign doesn’t last long and he steps down to chase after non-kingly things leaving Bertie no other choice than to take his place. So for his coronation ceremony, Bertie’s rehearsing with Lionel and they’re having an argument. Lionel is sitting in the king’s chair in a deriding fashion and Bertie takes offense to his mocking gestures and speech. He realizes his divine right to become king. He realizes he has a voice. That he is a heir and all the power that comes with that. This realization is not boastful or proud; it’s just factual. He is the son of a king.
I’ve realized I’m getting pushed toward a very vague unspecific “greatness,” or this expectation I have placed in/on myself to be great. Do I really want to be great? And if I do, great in what aspect? In Cambodia, I was being pushed toward leadership and vulnerability, and I was constantly being told how my words carry truth, wisdom, and weight with them. I recognize the weight and responsibility of those things and I got scared and wanted none of it. I’ve recognized that we all come to this decision of whether or not to rise up or step down and many times it’s either you do or you do not. I’ve recognized that I am a child of the King of Kings. Because of this, I have a voice, I am a heir, and I am powerful; and, without Him, I am none of those things.
The movie ended with King George VI (Bertie) giving a speech about joining the war against Hitler. In this molding and training, I do not want to forget that there is a war and every day I have a choice to take part in it. In the fight against myself and not wanting to take on responsibility I’ve misplaced the urgency of the gospel message. Pray I go on fire into China. I’m gonna need it.
