My time is already quickly coming to a close in Cambodia. Already! Yikes, that was quick.
I was reading my journal the other day and I noticed the resounding theme in my prayers has been a desire to learn intentionality. To walk into a situation/ new environment and have eyes to see and a knowledge of what to do or what to say, to pursue relationship and not wait to be the one to be pursued, to bring the Kingdom of God, to learn to just be and, in my being present, enact change. There was a chapel service in college one time about desiring communion with God more than your competence for him… Basically, many times I find myself doing things for him rather than wanting to be with him.
In my journal I had the same prayer over and over again. Father, teach me intentionality. Father, teach me how to initiate. Father, lead me.
But of course God just doesn’t give me intentionality; He’s been giving me opportunities to learn it.
So I really shouldn’t be surprised by the situations I get myself into.
So I was placed in Cambodia. In a rural village 30 minutes outside of the capitol with rice fields and cattle and the only thing required of me is to help teach preschool which is over by 10:30… there’s a lot of free time left in my day.
My dad reminded me jus t to be faithful in the small things when I am at a loss for what could be done. I don’t know what great leaps and bounds I made in learning intentionality but God opened small doors for me to practice being faithful in the small things.
The first day I arrived, I started to help paint the fence that surrounds the compound with a group of Australians that had come (they did amazing work in the limited time they were here, building a structure for sewing classes, a playground for the children, volleyball/badminton net and painted the walls blue so it’s not so prison-like). One of the workers with Teen Challenge was helping and in his limited English he got across asking me where I was from. When I said America – recognition crossed his face and he then proceeded to make airplane wings with his arms and engine noises with his mouth then demonstrated a bomb drop and explosion… His perception of America. What was done by the US to his country during the Vietnam War. I swallowed what limited pride I have in America and quietly finished painting the gate. Welcome to Cambodia.
Two days later, the Aussies left and we were alone on the compound with six ladies who have been taken off the street, their 3 children, and a few Teen Challenge workers.
So in our abundance of free time, we walked… a lot. Praying over the land and the people we came across. We prayed for opportunities to show Christ’s love. We prayed for the country, their leaders, the poor, the rich. Other times we sang praises as we walked. On our walks, there are about 3 temples that we pass and yesterday we decided to explore one. Other than the temples being the main schools in the area, the temples themselves seem desolate and in need of some repair and general upkeep. I consider this a huge PRAISE when temples go un-kept, unvisited, and seemingly with a lack of worshippers present. It was such a vast difference then the tourist attraction some have been made into in Thailand.
In Thailand, spirit houses were everywhere with food offerings and incense burning seemingly present 24/7 welcoming spirits into their home, businesses, and in front of large trees. The spirit houses here in Cambodia are still on every property but many of them lack maintenance and I’ve seen very few drink/food offerings on them. I believe Cambodia is ready for something more than the ritualistic religion on Buddhism. I believe they are starving for love. And what little portion of Christ’s love my team and I can display has already greatly changed the atmosphere of this place.
Violence, negative influence, harsh words and mass chaos seem to have been the norm among the children. On a lesser scale, the woman acted like their children, all wanting attention and using whatever means to get any form of it. Teen Challenge is a one year program for addicts to come and get clean, to learn skills, and to learn about Jesus. The women’s program here is new and when I got here one of the ladies still had cloudy hazed-over eyes. There is development delay and scarring from self-inflicted abuse (cutting), not to mention the deep emotional scars these families are carrying. There’s beauty in cloudy eyes becoming clear, in freedom from addiction.
One of the Australians left his guitar, so probably daily (enough to form small calluses on my fingertips) I grabbed it and started playing. You bring out music and the ladies come, doesn’t matter that I don’t know any songs yet. I do know some chords so I’ve started to sing the Bible over them and although they don’t speak English, I think many of them understand at least some of it and if anything, they see the Bible.
I find it very humorous that if you help with anything you get the question, “You are boring?” their variation on asking if we’re bored.
Our walks have slowly turned from children yelling hello from trees or hidden places to them coming and greeting us with high fives and screaming laughter. There’s an older women who welcomes us into her home or hugs me every time we walk by; she might be the village crazy, but I like her.
Soccer games are starting to occur every afternoon outside our compound and the kids that have schooling are able to understand more when I talk. They know we’ve come because of Jesus and the stigmatism associated with the kids that I live with seems to be forgotten. At least for the time being, there have been fewer fights.
There are two spirit houses on our compound (due to it being rented) and at the beginning of the month I had a strong desire to take a sledgehammer to it. My thought: it has no place here. I’ve since realized it’s not my place to knock down other people’s idols. Only the owner of the idol can cut that tie.
The truth that where light is present, darkness flees is becoming more and more real to me. Change has occurred on this compound by the light and love of Jesus Christ and there is no other answer for it. I realized how much I discipline in frustration verses how the Lord disciplines in love as I watched the little terror that does everything she’s not supposed to run circles around our tent, screaming cuss words at the other kids, and touching everything she’s not supposed to. There is love in discipline and thanks to this little girl I think I got the message.
These ladies and their children still have many idols and vices to let go of but the year has only just started. Pray for lasting change, continued love, and more grace for one another.
In other news: Myself and all 43 squadmates have been fully funded or have monthly supporters getting them there! It appears I’m stuck with these individuals and I’m okay with that.
God provides.
Be faithful in the small things. (Matthew 25).
