You know that Gods thoughts and opinions of you are the only ones that matter. You know that He will never reject you(1), though He may be disappointed, He will always forgive(2) and even forget(3), and because of that, you will never be condemned(4)! Now the question remains, do you fear God or do you fear Man?
As humans we have this tendency to put on a show, practically full Broadway productions, to make it seem like we have it all together, when in fact the show is falling apart. The lead actor came down with a cold and the understudy is so nervous lines are being dropped left and right. Mean while half the time you can’t see what’s going on onstage because lighting is so hung-over from last night’s cast party they are missing all their cues. However, you sure can see the glowing stage hands as they decided to wear all white to get back at the director for calling them “wanna-be actors that will never make it cuz they aren’t pretty enough”, needless to say he too, had a few at the cast party. And yet, we scramble, improv, and plaster on a giant smile because the show must go on, after all people have paid good money and we don’t want to disappoint let alone refund!
We do this for various reasons. We don’t want people to worry about us, we think we can handle anything life throws our way on our own, in our own way(5), we don’t want people to see our weaknesses or sins(6), we don’t trust people to know the real us and still love us(7). These are merely a few reasons, well excuses really, that I know I can relate to, one hundred percent!
Throughout my life I have dealt with many issues all by myself. And one thing that I’ve learned, and trust me it pains me to say this, is that I didn’t do the best job at it. However I thought that as long as I held it together, I would be fine and the show would go on! I was wrong, so very wrong.
God saw the play falling apart back stage, and knew that no amount of scrambling, improv, or smiles could make it work. So, a month ago God called a very abrupt “CUT!” House lights went on curtain came crashing down and there was no curtain call to collect applause and flowers, simply because there would have been none. Issues that I thought were in the past were not, and because of that I wasn’t allowing God to have all of me. He wanted my whole heart, all of me, not just the pieces I dressed up and put on stage.
“Okay Megan, what are you getting at?”
Good question, sorry I tend to babble when I’m nervous, so here it goes like ripping off a band-aid. I am no longer on the I-Squad World Race team. Whew, there I said it, typed it, whatever, you get the point. As I said things I thought were in the past were not and I made some poor decisions. So, it was decided that it’s best if I do not continue with the I-Squad. I am still a part of the race, however I am running it down in South Africa with Tom and Cindy Sipling, the I-squad parents. They are walking through this time with me as I learn to give all of myself to God.
I do miss my I-squad family so deeply, and this has been a sad scary time in my life. However I am clinging to Christ tighter than I ever have. I know that God is far from done with me and I am doing my best to look at this as a new door opening rather than a door closing. It is the end of the beginning of the World Race for me and yet the beginning of the end of Megan leaning on only Megan.
I am learning more and more that we are made to lean on our brothers and sisters, to carry each other’s burdens, and help each other along this journey of life. Furthermore, we are to turn to God with each step, after all He will never lead you off a cliff(8)! As I continue to grow in my faith I am depending more on God than Megan to lead me in my steps of life, steps that lead to Kingdom(9) not Megandom.
I continually ask for your support in prayers as I am currently looking into various mission opportunities down here in South Africa, and possibly Kenya. However, I will go where the Spirit leads me whether that be here, or back home in the states. For now I’m ministering to whoever comes through the door of the Siplings, which is more often than not haha, and at Pneumatix College (www.pnxglobal.com).
The curtains are down, the make-up and costumes have come off, the lights are on, and I am standing on stage exposed for the mess I am. Yet I can breathe easy. Though, I may have disappointed, I don’t have to refund. Jesus went ahead and paid that cost for me.
(1) (1) Joshua 1:5b I will never leave you nor forsake you. (NIV)
(2) (2) 1 John 1:9 If we confess out sins he is faithful and just and will forgive us from all unrighteousness. (NIV)
(3) (3) Psalm 103:12 As far as the east is from the west so far has he removed our transgressions from us. (NIV)
(4) (4) John 5:24 “I tell you the truth, whoever hears my word and believes him who sent me has eternal life and will not be condemned; he has crossed over from death to life.” (NIV)
(5) (5) Galatians 6:2 Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. (NIV)
(6) (6) 1 John 1:7 But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin. (NIV)
(7) (7) 1 John 4:20 if anyone says “I love God,” yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love Go, whom he has not seen. (NIV)
(8) (8) Psalm 20:4 May he give you the desire of your heart and make all your plans succeed. (NIV)
(9) (9) Romans 2:4b In kindness he takes us firmly by the hand and leads us into a radical life change. (MSG)
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