What is prostitution? How would you define it? Is it just a one night thing to where a girl stands out on the streets, a man buys her for the night for sex, and then the next day it’s over and she’s on the street again for another day’s wage? Is it a girl with no money, no chance at getting a job, and no family- who meets an older man that is well off, willing to pay her to be his “friend,” she lives with him, sleeps with him, takes care of him and his family, and it’s a longer-term thing? What is it?
This month we are in Thailand. So far it has been incredible. My team is wonderful. The place is gorgeous. The people are so sweet and kind. It’s going really well so far. We are working with a church in Rayong called, “Unity Christian Church.” We are going to be preaching and teaching on Sundays, visiting and teaching at the Juvenile Center here, speaking at the schools, doing evangelism in the community, and helping build the church here as well. These are just some of the things we’ve been told that we’ll be getting to serve in this month.
Christianity is less than one percent present where we are. My small-town-East-Texas-girl mind doesn’t quite grasp this very easily. A couple nights ago, I grasped it better.
The other day after ministry, my team and I went to visit the beach that is just a few minutes down the road from where we are living. We got to swim some, spend time on the beach, watch the sunset, and grab some dinner. It was a great time and super beautiful. When we were leaving the beach, about to head to dinner, an older Thai man noticed an “Ohio” shirt that one of my teammates was wearing. He walked up to us and asked if we were from the States. He was born and raised in Thailand, but in his young adult years moved to California for schooling and work. He has just recently moved back to Thailand to spend retirement in “paradise.” He asked us several questions and we got to share with him who we were and what we were doing in Thailand. After minutes of conversation he asked if he could walk with us to dinner and join us there. Of course we agreed.
Conversations with Willie got really deep. We didn’t shy away from asking the hard questions. We asked him about his beliefs, what he believed about God, what the purpose of life was, and so forth. He went on to tell us that he didn’t believe in God. He had tried many different religions, but they were all “money-making machines.” We talked to him about how it wasn’t about any religion, but about a relationship with Jesus. His response was that he would much rather have relationships with women than with God.
We were very honest with him and he was very honest with us. We shared truth with him and even though he didn’t agree with most and shared that he didn’t agree with most- he didn’t leave, but kept speaking with us and asking us questions.
He asked me, “Megan, what is your aim in life?” Uh. What a question. Have you ever been asked that question? How the heck do you answer that question in the first place, much less to a man with such a hardened heart? My reply was that my aim is to live for God- I believe that we were created for Him and to live for Him. He just shook his head and went on to ask the next person.
He shared a lot with us about his daughter. His daughter is 45 years old and has Autism. He has cared for her her whole life. There were quite a few times that Willie tried with all his strength to hold back the tears bubbling up out of his heart. He carries a ton of hurt and words can’t even begin to describe how evident that was in our interactions with him. He is so broken and so burdened. His heart is so heavy and the hurt in his heart is displayed when he speaks, shares his story, and in the lifestyle he is choosing to live. He told us that if there was a God that He was so unjust to make him have a daughter with Autism- that it was Karma, and that he must be getting punished. Even though it might not have been received well, it was pretty sweet to get to just tell the guy that he wasn’t being punished and that God cares so much and loves so much him and his daughter.
There’s also another piece to Willie’s life, his “friend.” He had a woman with him. She was very beautiful, probably in her late thirties, and didn’t speak any English. She also joined us for dinner, but didn’t say anything because of the language barrier. At dinner they were at their own table, right beside ours- he just came over and talked to us the whole time. She however, stayed at the table. After a while of him speaking with us, I noticed she had gotten up from the table and went across the street to sit in a swing by herself.
Willie told us a little about her, but not much. He met her while she was working as a street vendor. He needed someone to take care of him and to take care of his daughter when he’s gone. At times he referred to her as his “friend” and other times he called her his “girlfriend.”
I am not sure how that “relationship” works or plays out…all I know is that when we were leaving that night, when we walked past the swing she was on all by herself, my heart broke in two for this woman. She had the saddest and most empty look on her face and my heart felt like it snapped.
We proceeded to get in the car that took us back home and I couldn’t help but bring it up with my team. My exact response- “What the hell is she doing?” I don’t normally cuss- but this was the complete, exact, honest to goodness feeling in my heart. I was heart broken and furious and disgusted and hurt all at the same time. “What is going on? Why would any beautiful, thirty year old woman with so much future and life ahead of her want to be in a relationship with a retired old man with an Autistic daughter? It doesn’t make any sense. Does he pay her? Is this prostitution? Does she see it as opportunity for life and money? Does she really care for this man or even love him? Does she live in a trap that she doesn’t see an out to?” So many questions; so many feelings.
Great conversation and discussion between my teammates and I developed after these questions. We discussed what we each saw as prostitution and even how that might look back in the States.
I haven’t come to many conclusions and am still learning and processing from all of the experiences of the other night. I don’t understand. I don’t understand one bit. All I know is that 1) my heart is broken for these women and 2) my heart is broken for these men. Prostitution and sex trafficking is very prominent in Thailand. It is such a common thing to see young Thai girls with men who are just using them. I learned that my flesh and my natural response to these men, especially coming from the hurt I have towards the women, is to be absolutely disgusted and so angry and frustrated at them. But then I think about the hurt I saw and heard the other night in old Thai man’s eyes. I think about the brokenness that was the overflow of his heart as he spoke and shared with us. I think about the tears that he had to strive with all his strength to hold back.
Both are so broken. Both are hurting. Both are seeking answers and solutions. I don’t understand it, but I think that might be a little piece of it.
We are all broken people. Sometimes it looks like the woman at the well in John 4. Sometimes it looks like the woman caught in adultery in John 8. Sometimes it looks like Peter denying Jesus in John 18. Sometimes it looks like telling lies out of insecurities because we want people to accept and like us. Sometimes it’s wearing inappropriate clothing in order to get boys’ attention. Sometimes it’s being selfish. Sometimes it’s being prideful. Sometimes it’s not loving people well. Sometimes it’s prostitution. Sometimes it’s selling yourself. The list goes on and on and on.
The point is that we are all broken. We have all been hurt and have carried hurt. But as my teammate, Eric, and I were discussing- you can either be a Judas Iscariot or a Peter. Both messed up big time, both carried much hurt and brokenness- Judas betrayed Jesus, Peter denied Him. Both sinned against the Father and both carried that hurt. BUT how they responded after the hurt made all the difference.
Peter was broken, carried the hurt, but believed Jesus’s proclamation of forgiveness, repentance, and restoration. Peter believed Jesus, that He was enough, that He was truth, and that He was worth repenting for and to. Judas proclaimed, “I have sinned by betraying innocent blood.” He saw his sin- but didn’t do anything about it. He carried the hurt and brokenness, but didn’t make the right decision with it. He hung himself instead of going to the very One who died for our brokenness in order to make us whole.
Once again- we are all a broken people…but what we do with that is what makes all the difference. I just don’t even know, “What the hell she is doing” and I so much hope you will excuse my language. But I do know that the picture Jesus painted that night was clear- there’s brokenness all around. But that makes the HOPE of the One who died for that brokenness all the much sweeter.
Are you carrying hurt or brokenness? What are you going to do with it? Are you going to be a Judas or a Peter? There’s such a way out for both Willie and his “friend.” There’s such a hope. There’s such a hope for them and for you. SEE IT.
Praise the Lamb for this HOPE. Praise the Lamb for making a way for healing. Praise the Lamb for the cross and for dying for us so that we don’t have to live broken, hurt-carrying, and hopeless lives- but are offered an abundant, full, beautiful, free, and full-of-hope life. Pray for us to see it in every moment and to continue to spread this Hope to this broken and hurting place. Pray for Willie, his “friend,” and his daughter.
Love you all.
Megan
“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.” // John 10:10
“Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Through him have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in HOPE of the glory of God. Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces HOPE, and HOPE does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.” // Romans 5:1-5
