I’m tired.
The Lord has been speaking such powerful truth to my heart lately and I want to share it with you. I apologize ahead of time for the jumbled up mess that I am. Thank you dearly for loving me through it.
Last month in Colombia, my buddy Kristina and I met a friend who is a baker. His name is Jorge. The story of how we met him and the events that took place are quite powerful. One afternoon, Kristina and I had went to pick up our clean laundry. We were just chatting about the month as it was coming to an end as we came upon a bakery. There were no signs that told us of the bakery. No, it was the SMELL. Dang that bread smelled good! Kristina insisted we stop and see if they would give us free samples. We’re all about that free stuff on the Race! 🙂
We stepped in and met Jorge and Luis, the bakers. They didn’t know any English, so we communicated with them in our broken Spanish and laughs. They were so kind and friendly! We shared with them why we were in Colombia and what we were doing. The time ended by us inviting them to church and them agreeing to come and also them giving us….free samples!! They gave us some good BREAD. We left with smiles until we met again.
The next day…Sunday…guess who showed up at church, an hour and a half early! Jorge! His spirit filled with joy as he saw Kristina and I. We sat by him throughout church and it was incredible to see how focused he was on the singing and preaching. After church, we introduced him to a leader in the church, Over. They talked for several minutes. After they talked, we got Eric, our teammate and translator to ask Over what they had discussed. Come to find out- Jorge has been having a very difficult time within his marriage. His marriage is falling apart. He has been turning to alcohol a lot. He told Over that he wouldn’t have set foot in a church if we wouldn’t have invited him to come. He said that he wanted himself and his wife to begin meeting with the pastor to begin marriage counseling to get things right. He wanted to get things right and he saw that Jesus was the answer!!! Over was so excited telling us of all they had talked about. He commended us and told us words that I will never forget: “This man gave you bread that he had made; you gave him the Bread of Life.”
Glory to God!
Last month I read a lot in Acts. One the main things that Jesus pointed out to me was the phrase, “as they were going.” The disciples brought people to Jesus as they were going. A ton of their ministry occurred “as they were going.” Do you see this? They might have been setting out for a specific destination and place, but their perspective was always set on Jesus and bringing people to Him. SO, along the way to the places Jesus led them, they were always ready, always on guard, always seeking the people that needed Jesus, the opportunities Jesus placed in front of them- ready to pour out the love and truth of Jesus because they were FULL of Him and ready to pour Him out at any and every opportunity.
I had been studying that all month and then boom. Look what Jesus did. Incredible!
To continue… This life is not always easy. The Instagram and Facebook pictures seem blissful and incredible. And it is. This life is full of more blessings than I can begin to count, more than I know I even realize now. It’s amazing. But it’s hard. I’ve not been home in now seven months. SEVEN MONTHS it’s been since I’ve had dinner with my family and driven my car and seen my best friend. Seven months. I’m getting worn. I’m tired. I don’t want to sleep in a tent on the cold ground with a flat sleeping pad. I want to have my own space. I want to read my Bible and be with Jesus in a room by myself. I want a blazing hot shower. I want American food. I want to be able to call my mom and my best friend whenever I can, not just when I have wifi. I’m tired. And quite honestly, some days- more often lately- I’m just ready to be home. I’m ready to be done with this race. I’ve ran hard. I’ve fought hard. And some days, I’m just ready to cross the finish line with a large sweet tea in one hand and hugging my family in the other on sweet Texas soil.
This month is all squad month. That means the whole thirty something of us are together in Ecuador. One of my favorite parts of all squad month is all squad worship. It’s always absolutely incredible how the Father moves when all of us are worshipping Him together in one space. The other night- a difficult night- one of those “I’m ready to be done and home” nights- was all squad worship.
Even though it is all squad month, we are still divided up into our teams to do ministry. So we are all living in the same space, but doing different ministries. My team and I are at a ministry called…Pan de Vida. Want to take a guess as to what that means??? You got it- BREAD OF LIFE. We didn’t choose this ministry, we were placed there. Obviously by the Father.
The other night in worship- Jesus put the picture of an oven on my heart. I feel like I am at a point to where I am bringing people the Bread of Life, but I am getting burned by the oven. And IT HURTS. Bear with me…
He put 1 Peter 1:6-8 on my heart-
“In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith-more precious than gold that perishes, though it is TESTED BY FIRE- may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ. Though you have not seen him, you love him. Though you do not now see him, you believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory.”
You see, as we are called to work and bring people (as we are going and where He leads us and places us) the Bread of Life, sometimes the oven burns us. Sometimes we get burned by the stinkin oven and it hurts. BUT the Word tells us that it’s through testing of FIRE that makes our faith genuine, bolder, firm, and strong in His strength because it leads us to dependence upon the Father! The BURN of the FIRE of the OVEN makes us turn to Him to bring the aloe 🙂 – to comfort our hurts and the difficulty of being a “baker” giving people the Bread of Life. His comfort is so full and so great, that when we are in His presence- we find this joy that is INEXPRESSIBLE and FULL OF GLORY. We find our strength in His presence. We remember our purpose as being bakers- to bring people the Bread of Life that is Jesus Christ. And we see that the burning, though it hurts and is uncomfortable and difficult- is for our good- it is sharpening, refining, and making us more like Jesus as it leads us to dependence upon Him.
& One of the best parts-
“When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; WHEN YOU WALK THROUGH FIRE, YOU SHALL NOT BE BURNED, AND THE FLAME SHALL NOT CONSUME YOU. FOR I AM THE LORD YOUR GOD, THE HOLY ONE OF ISRAEL, YOUR SAVIOR.” // Isaiah 43:2-3
HE IS HERE WITH ME.
I want to finish this Race strong. I want to cross that finish line breathing as hard as I can and ready to pass out from giving it all I have. I want that badly.
So now- as Jesus has shown me- the choice is choosing to serve the Bread (through the heat, through the discomfort and sometimes pain of the fire of the {refining} oven), but even still CHOOSING TO KEEP SERVING THE BREAD.
This month, at Pan de Vida- we are serving the needy. Oh the need in this place! We are getting the opportunity to serve food to people who are hungry. We are getting the opportunity to feed them spiritually through church and vbs and then feeding their tummies and physical hunger. We are feeding them bread we make and the Bread of Life.
Isn’t it absolutely amazing how the Father works. He makes no mistakes. He teaches us on purpose. He leads us through the fire to depend on Him and not on ourselves. He is THE Bread of Life that so desperately needs to be shared with this hungry world.
Let’s go feed people! You never know when you’re going to run into a Jorge who is desperately hungry for the truth!!
Pray for me- to keep turning to HIM after the burns of the oven. Pray that I would continue to SEE the power and the incredible importance of the Bread I am serving and the amazing opportunities as I go to serve Him to the world. Pray for strength over me as the refining isn’t easy- but to see it’s so worth it. I cannot thank you enough! 🙂
“Jesus said to them, ‘I am the bread of life, whoever comes to me shall not hunger, and whoever believes in me shall never thirst.”
John 6:35
