You thought the story was over didn’t you?
Oh no, it was a good day of gardening and God spoke a few
more things that lead into this time of transition……He spoke
- that it was time for a new season. God had been speaking
this to me since my flight out of Haiti. I didn’t understand what it fully
meant but as I gardened I began to understand. He confirmed what I had been
feeling (and fighting) all month,
that my season of leadership was over.
I have had the opportunity
to be a leader of an amazing team for the last 3 months but the leader coat had
become too heavy for me in this season. I felt the need and desire to end my
season of leadership but I struggled with it because leadership in is my blood.
Leadership is what defines me. What will I do if I’m not a leader? Who will I
be if I’m not the leader? Where will my significance come from? My value? If
not accomplishments and titles then what?
I know right? Who knew all this was going on? Who
knew these were my core beliefs about my value and significance?
God did, because
this was the beginning of Him revealing my weeds….
As He spoke this for the final time (He spoke it many times throughout the month I just was fighting it and for my significance) I felt a release within
my spirit. My spirit was tired, I was weak, I had been operating in my own
strength and finally I let go and said,
YES GOD.
Yes God, have your way in me. Yes God strip me down to my
core. Yes God I’m scared but I trust you.
- “Those who live in the shelter of the Most High will find rest in
the shadow of the Almighty. This I declare about the Lord: He alone is my refuge, my place of safety; he is
my God, and I trust him. For he will rescue you from every trap and protect
you from deadly disease. He will cover you with his feathers. He will
shelter you with his wings.His faithful promises are your armor and protection.�
Psalm 91:1-4 (NLT)
I am ready to enter a season of
resting under the wings of my Father. A season of weeding and refining. It feels so right. It feels like a perfect pair of shoes, it just fits!
It’s a time of redefining and establishing my identity, but not through accomplishments but through my one and only Savior and God. God is revealing who I am in Him and it’s only just begun. There is so much He wants to show me. I know the process is not going to be neat and tiddy, and I’m getting used to that.. I’m going to have
to be vulnerable and honest and go to places I’ve avoided for years. It’s going to be uncomfortable and different but the
promises of the Lord are SO much greater than any temporary discomfort! His promises are my armor and I hold to them.
So Yes….
YES GOD. Have your way, let’s get dirty!
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THANK YOUs
As my time comes to an end as team leader I want to say thank you to Team Eruption
for being a part of my growing process. For challenging me, stretching
me, encouraging me, and loving me throughout the last 3 months! It has been an honor to be your leader and to serve alongside you, you have each taught me so much about myself and about the Lord. Thank you!
Thank
you to the squad leaders who have walked through this with me, who have
gently and lovingly point to my weeds. Who have been grace-filled and
empowering at the same time. Thank you to the coaches who have LOVED me
through the process. Thank you to my parents who are always there with
words of love and wisdom. And to my friends who are there to externally
process and pray through it all.
It’s not over friends, family, coaches, teammates, and squad leaders….the weeding is just beginning…..but the seasons are changing….it’s time for a season of joy, of life, of dirt, and rawness.
I’ll be under the shadow of my Father’s wings so if you need anything just shoot a text or email to shadow in the sky and I will be sure to get back with you as soon as possible 🙂 I know cheesy right? But fun 🙂
