So this month we have 3 different Adventure days – white water rafting, scuba diving, and a day at a zip line park. The first was this week – white water rafting! Sounds adventurous and exciting! So of course I raised my hand to go. And then I was talking to a squad mate and she was talking about how she had to pray about it before she decided….oh….yeah, pray.
Okay, Lord do you want me to go? Do I get to go? Huh, huh?
I sounded like a spoiled 5 year old.
Then a whisper came,
Don’t go.
No….that can’t be right. It’s adventure. The Lord knows I want to experience adventure and besides I don’t want to be known as a nonadventurous person. Almost EVERYONE is going, what will people think? So I continued my plan to go while an ache of discomfort began to grow in the pit of my stomach. But I can ignore that. And I did for 2 days. Then I decided I should really pray about it. This is part of the conversation from my journal…..
Lord, do I go white water rafting?
A whisper…..no, stay behind.
Really? I want to go to experience the adventure but I feel like you are telling me not to go (really I’ve heard no twice and I just think I are hearing don’t go? I laugh when I read what I write sometimes J). I don’t want to be disobedient but I want the adventure.
“Megan I have more for you.”
More than white water rafting?
Yes.
I don’t have a peace about going rafting….do I take the day off and go to the mall with the others?
No.
Okay so I will work next Tuesday when everyone goes on an adventure. I’ll be left behind.
Behind for what I have for you. Trust me.
Oh Lord, why don’t I trust you? Why do I look at this world and what I know? Oh Lord help me!
Flash in a reminder….“The reality of naked trust is the life of a pilgrim who leaves what is nailed down, obvious, and secure, and walks into the unknown without any rational explanation to justify the decision or guarantee the future. Why? Because God has signaled the movement and offered it his presence and his promise.” (Quote from Ruthless Trust by Brennan Manning)
So I took my name off the list with no rational explanation or guarantee of what the day would look like. I walked into the unknown at 5am with baby duty. Why? Because God signaled the movement and promised his presence.
I was met with two little ones sleeping in the arms of the girls who had night duty before. Two little ones who had just been surrendered the day before. I was met with tears of terror not knowing where they were, what was going on, or where their mother was. But as I held the child in my arms offering comfort and love I felt the God whisper, “this is what I have for you. This is who you are here for today.”
I felt warmth enter my heart and I just smiled. I then had the opportunity to pray over both little ones, love them, and embrace them in a moment of feeling lost and left behind. What became more important was these little ones and not what others would think. My eyes refocused on the Lord and not on myself. I had an amazing day with these little ones and was blessed with an extra treat of going into town with my fellow squad mate, Mari, after our shift ended at 2pm. We were able to share who we are, what God has done and is doing in life, AND have sweet potatoes on a stick! I really like that treat here and they are 5 pisas(45 pisas is $1)!
As Mari and I stood at the bus stop to head back to camp I looked at her, smiled, and shared that the Lord redefined adventure for me today. What he had for me was far better than any day on a river. He knew my heart and he blessed me with a child and a sister in Christ…and a sweet potatoe :)! And I realized that I ONLY want the adventure the Lord sets before me because anything I try to create or do based on what the world defines as adventure will simply fall short of anything the Lord creates or designs. Obedience is SO much better!
I honestly couldn’t have asked for a better day. It was a gift, it was adventure redefined.
More from the book Ruthless Trust, a prayer that I’ve been incorporating into my days….
“Abba, into your hands I entrust my body, mind, and spirit and this entire day – morning, afternoon, evening and night. Whatever you want of me, I want of me, falling into you and trusting in you in the midst of my life. Into your heart I entrust my heart, feeble, distracted, insecure, uncertain. Abba, unto you I abandon myself in Jesus our Lord. Amen.”
