Moldova, is that a country?
It sure is! It is sandwiched between Romania and Ukraine and
is the poorest country in Eastern Europe. It has beautiful country side and
most people eat off their land since there aren’t many jobs. I have been in
Cornesti, Moldova this month which is a small town in the mountains and hills.
We have been working with a pastor who has a vision for this community and his
country and is passionately working toward it!
This month has been much different than I expected….and I
don’t know why I keep thinking I know what a month or day will look like. But I
came into this month charged, ready and excited but I was met with noodles and
bread. I was met with a moldy house. I was met with illness. I was met with
fear.
On our first day of ministry I woke up sick and
progressively got worse. I had aches and pains, a fever, a runny nose, swollen
eyes, and was just feeling horrible. I tried fighting it throughout the day but
ended up in my bed by the afternoon. This continued for a few days (about 7 to
be exact) and I just struggled because I was charged and ready! And I get to
Moldova and am weak and sick? What was making me sick?
MOLD and food…..oh how I laugh sometimes. These were the two
biggest challenges for me back in the United States and I meet them again. I lived in a house with
toxic mold for a few months and developed a very high sensitivity to mold so
whenever I’m around it I get sick quickly and just don’t operate well. And I’m
currently not able to eat wheat or gluten so the Moldovan diet of bread, noodles, and
cookies brought about a challenge. These things brought about fear. Fear of being sick……
God was asking me to TRUST Him with EVERYTHING, even my
physical body. Was I ready?
To be honest in the first few days I struggled. I was stuck
on all that I didn’t have. I wanted to be home in a nice warm bed. I wanted to
be where my mom could buy me gluten free food. I wanted to be somewhere with a
toilet. I wanted a mold free house. I wanted to give up and not fight. But as I
lay in bed with all these thoughts I could not even begin to imagine actually
going home. I couldn’t imagine giving up the life I was living. This is exactly
where I wanted to be. This is what
I prayed for, to be desperate for the Lord and to be transformed. I knew this
was the Lord and I could feel Him asking me to let Him in, let Him care for me,
let this be a time of transformation. So, this is where we begin….
“When I feel like
fear may be creeping back in I WILL
WORSHIP!”
I had a choice to make. Will I worship the Lord or will I
worship myself, my current circumstances, and the spirit of fear? The first few
days I struggled. As I said my eyes were focused on the lack of food I could eat, they
were focused on my ear ache, my chills, and my weakness. BUT I have an awesome God
who met me there. And an awesome family who prayed for me, over me, and helped
me look at the Lord when I didn’t have the strength. In the days that I
struggled, my God and my family fought for me and I am so THANKFUL for that. They cared
for me and met me in my weakness (even though I don’t like showing it). They
continually reminded me to look upward and to worship Him. Again I had to make
a choice to WORSHIP the Lord in ALL things and in ALL my moments not just in
the moments that I was feeling better, but even when I felt horrible. It was in the hard moments that the Lord met me. Helping me to be okay with being sick. Helping me to worship him in bed, sick, and weak. It was
time to take EVERY thought captive and choose to worship him. I had to choose to focus
on Him. I had to chose to ask Him to show me what He was doing here in Moldova
rather than focus on the pain and discomfort I was experiencing.
“I will not be silent
I was born to worship
I will not be quiet
The voice of fear can hold me back NO MORE!
Worship is the key
Worship is my destiny
Worship it’s the victory
That released GLORY!
I will not give up my inheritance
I was born to do great things
God is alive, He is inside of me!”
–
Jonathon David Helser
This month I have been learning to walk in this victory. To not let fear hold me back.
It was in those first few days that I realized more
and more the fear that grips me and how Satan was trying to keep me from my
inheritance by using that. It was then that this song became more and more my
anthem. This month has been a time of me learning to walk in this victory. To not let fear hold me back. To meet with God on an intimate level and give Him EVERYTHING!
Each day this month I’ve woken up and I have made the choice to worship the Lord and
not give up my inheritance. I choose to say YES to all that the Lord has for
me. I choose to not focus on the negative or struggle but keep my eyes and mind
focused vertically on the Lord. I choose to not be silent and to WORSHIP Him. I’m
not perfect in this process but I’m learning and I’m growing in it. I’m
choosing to not let mold and a food allergy take over my mind and live in fear.
I’m choosing to not worry about the details but to trust that the Lord has my best
in mind and will provide all that I need. I’m choosing to lean into the Lord
and ask Him for more transformation.
This is my journey…..I’m learning to listen to His voice and not my own. I’m learning. I’m in a process and it’s going to be hard at times but I’m walking….I’m walking deeper into Him…..
(Picture: Me walking to my favorite spot in Moldova for a date with my Dad (God)….got my picnic blanket and all :))
When fear comes YOUR way what do you do? What are the things
that grip you and that Satan uses to keep you from your inheritance? Be aware
of them and in the times of struggle WORSHIP the Lord! Do not give up your inheritance. Press in….ask the Lord to take you deeper…..
