So, I’m pretty sure everybody can relate to feeling seriously disappointed. That email that follows a job interview, “We are sorry to inform you that, due to the high number of qualified applicants….”. An opportunity that falls through. A significant other who changes their mind. Something you’ve invested your future in….a career path, a major, a person, a place to live, a leadership role, what have you…falls through.
Being disappointed is rough. But this blog post isn’t about the roughness of disappointment, its about the beauty of the season after disappointment, and the importance of thanking God for the things we find disappointing.
Last spring was a season of serious disappointment for me. As most of my friends found jobs, moved to new cities, got engaged/married, or got into grad school, it seemed as though God was shutting every door in my life. I got rejected from job after job, my two-year relationship came to a sudden end, and I ended up moving back with my parents and looking for a job in my home town (which felt like I wasn’t “moving on” in life).
Needless to say, I was bummed. I desperately wanted to be a missionary overseas, but God not only wasn’t opening doors for me to do that, but he was closing ones that I had forced open. I was exhausted from trying to break and enter into countless life paths…so I quit. I felt pretty disappointed and defeated.
It was in that time that I got a call from my Mom, saying she had talked with a World Race Alumni, and it sounded like something I would do.
I felt an immediate tug on my heart
Not the “I want to do this” kind of tug….but a “the Holy Spirit is DEMANDING that I check this out” kind of tug. I applied in less than 24 hours.
At the risk of sounding cliché, I needed to be disappointed last spring. I needed God to force doors shut in my life that I was begging him to keep open. Going on the World Race never would have been my idea, in fact, I remember persistently disliking the idea of it when I heard about it a year ago. Because I wanted to settle down in ONE place. Because I wanted to share my life with another person. Because I wanted to be successful at ONE thing.
God had so much more. Being disappointed six months ago resulted in absolutely NOTHING to cling to, and also absolutely NOTHING to keep me from saying “yes” when God asked me to go.
When I was in a place of feeling super disappointed and let down, one of the best pieces of advice anyone gave me was,
“I’m so excited for you”
I want you to know that it’s okay to feel disappointed. In Christ, we have the freedom to feel. But don’t let fear and disappointment crowd the Holy Spirit. Let yourself be disappointed, and then allow God to show you why. Allow yourself to get excited. God shuts doors for two reasons; To delight in you while you praise him in the hallway, and to open doors for you that can never be closed, allowing your life to glorify His name.
Revelation 3:8 “I know your deeds. See, I have placed before you an open door that no one can shut. I know that you have little strength, yet you have kept my word and have not denied my name.”
