So this post isn’t too deep, theological or thought intensive, it is merely the result of my inability to keep what God is doing in my life to myself.
I’ve been learning, really over the last year, to pray more boldly. One of my favorite books is The Circle Maker by Mark Batterson, and I have a billion favorite quotes, but one is:
“Bold prayers honor God, and God honors bold prayers. God isn’t offended by your biggest dreams or your boldest prayers. He is offended by anything less. If your prayers aren’t impossible to you, they are insulting to God.”
This is convicting to me on a regular basis. God has been teaching me and growing me into a servant who prays boldly and specifically. He has been teaching me that when my desire is aligned with His will, through spending time with Him, that I CAN pray boldly and watch in amazement as he moves.
Scripture tells us in Matthew 7:7 “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened for you” and again in Matthew 21:22 “All things you ask in prayer, believing, you will receive”
Too many times, I have shrugged these verses off as clichés, particularly by clinging to the thought that I can’t possibly have anything I want just by praying for it. God is not a vending machine.
But that isn’t really God’s heart here. God’s heart is that when we SEEK him, and when we ask for our hearts to be changed to be more like His own, our prayers will be honoring, and they will be honored.
So that’s what I’ve been learning. What I’ve been struggling with is feeling overwhelmed by fundraising and preparing for a year as a missionary. I’ve had voices in my head…both other peoples’ and my own…asking
What if
It doesn’t happen?
You can’t raise the money
You can’t do this
You can’t do this
The funny thing is, it’s true. I CAN’T do this. But I serve a God who can. $17,000 (plus expenses for gear, vaccines, you get the point) IS SO DAUNTING. Meanwhile, I’m brand spankin new to the real world of adult expenses (80% revolving around my car)….it’s all quite overwhelming. But this morning I reminded myself how big my God is, and the truth that the more impossible it feels to me, the more God is glorified by the result.
So this morning I prayed boldly for God to bring in $1,000 this week….which was nearly double what I had raised so far. I prepared myself to fast, and pray on my knees for this number all week. I humbled myself before the throne and let God know that I absolutely, 100% was aware of the fact that there was no way this was happening by my efforts alone, but that I was ready to do my part in His sovereign will.
6:00 pm tonight I checked my account:
One $300 monthly pledge, and $130 in one-time gifts.
While this is $430 automatically, it nearly tripled what I had boldly asked the Lord for in the long run. Furthermore, I fully believe that the $570 will come later this week. This is only day one!
Our God is incredible. He loves us, and he loves to lavish us with exactly what we need to fulfill his will.
And, as silly as it seems, I found $10 in my laundry.
God just likes to give us a little extra sometimes. He’s generous like that.
I want to challenge myself to pray big and bold prayers. I’m sure this is the first of countless praises I will be shouting out to my Heavenly Father as he blesses me through this fundraising process. He is so sovereign in His timing. He doesn’t want us to feel discouraged and there is never a need to. He’s got this. We just have to ask.
