Before the race (for my whole life, basically), I was in constant pursuit of my “calling”. I viewed myself as both adventerous and passionate and was in a fairly constant state of waiting for the right opportunity to go live that out. The big thing that was going to happen, that would change everything. The time I would spend living in Latin America, learning how to make tortillas by hand. The children’s home I would start in Africa. The PhD I would work towards, the non-profit I would run. The big something.
I grew up with constant reminders that I was special and that God had huge plans for my life, thanks to my incredible and encouraging parents. I was restless and couldn’t wait to get through high school, college, whatever it took until I could live out my big plan, whatever it was. My big adventure. My big something. I fully expected to graduate college and embrace a crazy, rugged, adventerous life.
In college, I threatened to drop out after every semester (although I absolutely adored college) just to DO something with my life. My poor mother. I read all the books and watched all the documentaries and became convinced that in order to live a significant life, I had to do something wildly dramatic.
So, I went to India, and then I went on the race, and now I’m home.
Since my freshman year in college, I have done missions in 12 different countries. I have hugged newborn orphans, taught ESL to refugees, built relationships with women stuck in sex slavery, and listened to stories from the most interesting people I have ever met. I have passed through Thai mountains on a bamboo raft, surfed on the most beautiful beach I’ve ever seen, and ziplined through the jungle in Honduras. I even learned how to make tortillas by hand. And these are some of my most treasured memories. My favorite moments.
But I also learned that it’s not that simple. You don’t choose an adventerous life or a non-adventerous life. Travel doesn’t make your life meaningful or significant. “Big” things in life are fun, joyful and thrilling but not a clean cut recipe for fulfilment. Getting on a plane will not ensure that you live life fully.
I’ve come to learn that missions is beautiful, wild, rich and full of lessons. It feels adventurous and free. But what I didn’t realize was that to achieve what I deemed an adventurous, significant life….I was trading millions of every day adventures. Season changes, farmers markets, holidays. Family, friendships, grassroots. Music festivals, church, holding hands, driving with the windows down. Looking at the stars.
This isn’t a blog about how much the World Race cost me, or a warning to future missionaries about the sacrifice it will take. This is an urging message that adventure doesn’t comes from dramatic moves, traveling, cave diving or bungee jumping. Adventure comes from being a person who loves adventure. You find adventure and a full life by asking for it, praying for it, and choosing to wake up every day and give 100% even when its hard.
Some of the moments where my heart has felt most free on the race have been laughing with teammates watching youtube SNL sketches, swing dancing at a dinner market in Malaysia, and buying fresh fruit at a market in Costa Rica. The moments where I’ve felt most full are the moments I’ve taken to truly listen to someone’s story. The moments in which I asked the hard questions and stuck around for the answers, even if they were messy. The moments where I surprised myself. Where I faced my fear of public humiliation and spoke in front of a crowd, or on a radio talk show. When I tried new things and met beautiful people.
On the flipside, some of my least adventerous moments ever came on the race. In sitting by myself while everyone else went out because I was too stubborn to admit that I needed to talk to someone about being homesick, or overwhelmed, or emotionally exhausted. In watching movies all day in Malaysia instead of exploring. In not choosing to fully live out any day. Most days, I did choose to live adventerously. But my point is that changing what I did and where I was, was an impetus, but not enough in itself to make my life full. I had to choose that.
I have wildly enjoyed riding elephants, taking bamboo rafts through ancient caves, and zip lining. I will always enjoy those things, and they will always be beautiful memories. But my eyes have been opened to looking for fullness in the every day. In finding new coffee shops, in meeting new people. In trying new foods, in doing things that scare me. In having hard conversations and building deep, lasting friendships. In hiking and running and laughing with my sisters. In taking time to do things that other people love and find fulfilling. In listening to stories, and taking advice from people who are wiser than me. In roadtrips and flower shops and family game nights. These are the things that make my life meaningful. These are my adventures. That is my calling.
I am still my wild, adventure seeking self. I am proud of the places I’ve been. I am proud of the streaks of color in my hair, the tattoos and the scars and the muscles on my body that tell my story. Of how I’ve grown and learned. But I no longer scoff at the 9-5. I no longer find myself refusing to ever settle down. I will no longer feel challenged to find adventure in small- or big- towns. I will cherish my time wherever I am. Whether I am running a non-profit, hosting a dinner party or watching netflix with my sisters.
Life is an adventure, if you want it to be. You can bring adventure…joy…contentment with you wherever you go. You are capable of living a magical, significant, God centered life wherever it is he calls you to be. Fulfillment is rooted in obediance, and in choosing to show up to each and every day.
So I am going to be adventurous. I am going to ask God to show me the beautiful things about every day. I’m going accept that there is never an excuse for boredom when we serve a creative God that wants us to live a full life. I am going to choose every moment of Collegeville, Pennsylvania, and wherever it is God brings me next.
