In life, we tend to have expectations. It’s not something that we plan on or do intentionally, but human nature often forces us to have them anyway, and the same thing applies for the World Race. I think there’s something inside of Racers that switches as we embark on this 11-month journey. Before we leave, we think we are about to step into this glorified mission trip where we’re healing the sick and feeding the hungry every day. But once we settle into the groove of things, we realize that this isn’t just a trip; it’s life. This is our everyday: 24/7 community, bucket showers, dirt, long, exhausting days, and all the ugly, broken things that we never planned on anyone seeing.
The Lord has been teaching me this lesson for the entirety of the Race so far. Expectations lead to the glorification of a thing: the perfect day, the intentional conversation, the best relationship. We start to mold our days into the shape of our expectations, and when they don’t turn out the way that we’ve built them up in our minds, we are often disappointed.
January 19th, Month 5, Senga Bay, Malawi. This was a day when my expectations came crashing down around me. What I had created so perfectly in my mind was a flop. Not what I wanted, not what I planned, not what I expected.
Our team met up with another team that was in the same city as us and decided to take a trip to Lake Malawi. I had seen pictures and heard stories and I just knew it would be an incredible trip that we wouldn’t forget. We set out in a mini-bus and about four hours later, we arrived on the shore of the lake, where we would be camping for the night. It was rainy season, so there was a slight drizzle falling from the dark grey sky, but I wasn’t going to let that put a damper (no pun intended) on this trip. The reason I was most excited to visit Lake Malawi was because I wanted to see an awe-inspiring sunrise over the water the next morning.
Something you might not know about me: my love language is sunrises and sunsets. There’s something about the variety of colors that paint the sky that leave me in complete wonder and admiration. Each sunrise or sunset is completely different from the following and I find so much beauty in the mystery and anticipation of what the next one will be like. We set up our tents on a concrete platform under a roof. Night came and we all headed to our tents to get a few hours of sleep. Rainy season in Africa is no joke, especially when you’re set up 20 feet away from the water. The entire night, the wind blew viciously against the tent as the rain poured down, causing everything inside the tent to get wet. Miserable is the first word that comes to mind. I hardly got enough sleep, I was wet, and the wind and rain were not letting up. But in the grand scheme of things, this didn’t matter, because despite the heavy rains and wind, I would wake up at 4:30am and the sunrise would make the miserable conditions worth it. I was kidding myself. We woke in the morning to an incredibly dark, gloomy sky and I knew; the sunrise was not going to be what I so desperately expected and wanted it to be.
I immediately heard the Lord speak to me as I stepped out of my tent that morning. What He spoke was simple; His words were quiet, but just loud enough so that I could hear them: drop your expectations. I peered out across the lake and found that the sky was filling with a beautiful ribbon of blue along the horizon. He gave me the opportunity to find beauty beneath the rubble of my broken anticipations. Not what I wanted, not what I planned, not what I expected; but so uniquely beautiful in it’s own way. Even though the sunrise wasn’t what I expected, it was still stunning. I found myself in complete awe of the shade of blue that filled the sky and forgot about the picturesque sunrise that I had so greatly wanted instead.
It’s hard to live our lives without expectations because we want what’s best. The thing that’s most beautiful, most satisfying, and appears to bring us the most fulfillment. But I’ve learned that no matter what the circumstances are, it’s worth it. It’s worth it to leave our expectations behind, because the image that the Lord is creating for us is much more than we could ever muster up on our own. When we try to create the perfect circumstances for ourselves and for our futures, we are only being held back from the perfect plan that the Lord has had for us since the day that the Earth was spun into motion.
So, here I am, challenging you to drop your expectations while I challenge myself to do the same. Let go of the life you have planned and instead, step into the one that was perfectly handcrafted by the creator of the universe; I promise you’ll find beauty where you least expect it.
