I was in my secret place, yet I was not alone.
There was a throne shining brightly upon one of the rolling hills. As it continued to glow a river flowed out from the base, meandering about the grassy fields. As the water cut through the constant green, trees shot up standing tall in the sky. Beautiful fruit of deep red grew upon the strong branches.
I walked through this new forest that had appeared in my secret place.
Then, small lights—like fireflies—came down and floated into my back as I inhaled deeply. Upon each exhale, red ribbons emerged from my chest and left me, winding through the trees.
I continued to breathe. I let everything I’d been holding inside emerge. It took form as a gray mist. I trapped it all in a bubble and lifted it to the sky, letting it wait to return to focus another time when I would be ready.
I stood before the river, still deep within the forest. Without a word, without a second thought I stepped forward until the water reached my ankles. It was cool, refreshing. I focused on how the current continued to move around my ankles, how the soil beneath my feet comforted me.
I moved again, not stopping until the water came up to my waist. Usually, this would terrify me. I would have bolted back to the safety of the grass, the dry ground. But the river was so blue and so clear. And I was safe.
There was something behind me and I turned. That big darkness. The creature that had become so close to me that I couldn’t differentiate it from my own shadow.
It narrowed its eyes and growled, eyeing me. It tried to take a step forward.
I’d escaped its thorns that had entangled and held onto me so fiercely. It wasn’t about to let me go.
The second its front paw touched the river, Light slowly began to consume it.
Alarmed, the creature flinched away to keep the Light from going any further. Once its paw reverted back to its original state, it eyed me once again and snarled.
It couldn’t get to me.
Something emerged from my chest. Something different. Something new.
My spirit. The part of me that was eternal.
I held out my hands to hold it, but it didn’t once touch my skin as it hovered. It was small—precious but not fragile—the size of a pearl. The surface was purple. The color swirled around like it was alive beneath the surface. It had its own current within. A white light glowed softly around it—a gentle light.
I heard my spirit talk—the sound of gentle whisperings.
My spirit moved. It descended into the river, let itself be surrounded by the steady water.
It followed the current, taking in its surroundings. It was like another world down here. Every plant, every gem that lined the river bottom came alive in every color, illuminating the way.
Meanwhile, above the surface the dark creature tried to follow, determined not to lose.
My spirit kept its attention forward. It didn’t falter, didn’t stray. It let the current show it where to go.
Eventually, the river came to a waterfall and my spirit went over. It didn’t fall into the water below. Instead, it came to a gentle slow and moved over the surface to see where it was.
A small lake beneath the waterfall and hidden so well within the trees that not even the creature could find it.
My spirit moved to the shore and took form of my own body.
I looked up to see the sky alight with stars that twinkled and shot across the dark backdrop. Also, ribbons of green, blue, pink, and purple danced high above me. And just above the lake and forest floor, the world came alive with the lights from fireflies.
A figure stepped into view.
I took a step forward. Another. I didn’t even notice the fact that I was walking on water. I just wanted to reach Him.
I stopped before Him. I couldn’t discern His face, but I knew. It was Him.
With a smile He lifted His hand to pet my hair. “Oh, my child,” He said.
It had been a while since we last met like this, in the solitude, in the quiet. Yet there was no judgement in His tone. Just that kindness and gentleness met with fondness.
I leaped into His arms in a tight embrace as tears began to fall down my face. And He held me. We just stayed like that.
When I did eventually let go, I found a crown of flowers sitting atop my head. He had a matching one.
And He explained everything.
This was my haven within the secret place. A place where I could find complete rest. A place of peace.
Once again, my spirit took form of that tiny, purple pearl. It was time to return.
My spirit climbed up the waterfall and upstream until it reached my awaiting body. It hovered in front of me and stayed still as I cupped my hands beneath it like before.
But my spirit didn’t go back into my body as it had come out before. My body shifted and flowed into my spirit.
There were things I still needed to face. Things I still needed to process and grieve. The thought of facing it all was a difficult thing to acknowledge. But I’d be able to come to this. This haven.
