Finding my voice

Would you have ever guessed that I felt  silenced?
Would you have ever known I had a voice I didn't think was worthy of being heard?
 
I've felt for so long that my problems weren't big enough to merit attention.
I have believed that my opinions and thoughts weren't important enough to share with the world.
 
Don't get me wrong, I've never acted as if I'm a mute. I'm a listener…well I'm obviously a talker too, but when it comes down to the deep, personal stuff, I am much more likely to be found on the receiving end rather than the sharing one.
 
Reading through my journal from training camp, I found a simple prayer:
"Papa, I so badly wanted to lift up a prayer from the depths of my soul, but I was too weak…please give me your strength to one day speak aloud—in praise to You!"
 
It's not very specific, but I remember yearning to have the boldness to speak the words the Lord was giving me over my squad…but I was too quick to discredit them, thinking "Oh someone else probably has something better to say, a word that is more profound." Thus, silencing myself.
 
But last Thursday, my voice was heard. Our squad was worshipping in the center of the retired dance club. (If only these walls could speak, they would probably tell about the stark contrast between the two atmospheres.) It was in this place that I found my voice. Lifting up praise, my Father spoke to me and I finally didn't allow the Enemy to silence my voice any longer. I opened my mouth and God used my inadequate words to speak encouragement and freedom over my squad.
 
I didn't recite an eloquent poem, speak with profound wisdom, or predict the future…I simply heard the simple words that the Lord wanted to be spoken aloud to my squad and I obeyed.
 
I'm learning that it's these little acts of obedience that the Lord desires and rewards.
 
For instance, yesterday at INFA, the boarding school where we work with young women, God pointed out one 16 year old girl. My Spanish is still a work in progress, so I was nervous that I wouldn't make a difference, because I wouldn't be able to hold a conversation with her. Despite my fears…

…I obeyed and did what did not require any translation: I loved her. We danced, laughed and even talked.
 

The simple acts can make a vast difference.

PRAISE:
Also, HUGE answer to a prayer from last week's blog…the girl from above actually sought me out. We had met briefly the previous week but she remembered me and came up to me again this week and never left my side! Hopefully I will get to hang out with her even more next week as it will be our last time there.

PRAYER:
• To continue strengthening the relationships I've made here as we get closer towards the end of the month (time is truly flying by! I can't believe we have only 10 days left in this paradise!)
• For my team (Team O.I.L.) to continue going deeper and deeper…we are reading through Acts right now and are learning what true community looks like and we're working to reflect that in our community experience.
• Financial provision, I still need exactly $5,532 to be fully funded…which is a pretty overwhelming number, but I'm trusting in the Lord and His perfect timing. Plus my teammate Brandi has already been assured by our incredible Father that no one on our squad will leave the field for financial reasons and I 100% believe that!
• For my the families effected by the shooting in Colorado, the fires in Missouri and their desperate need for rain, and those effected by the tourist attack in Bulgaria. Our prayers are powerful and do not need to depend on state or country borders, so send them up people!

Hasta viernes!!!