Sitting alone after an incredible meal with my team, translator and hosts, it dawned on me, I was experiencing a generational tie.
I couldn't understand why I was feeling stressed and irritated.
In the silence, the Lord started revealing things to me about my family. During the Holiday season, there always seemed to be more tension in the house than usual. Whether we were leaving town to visit family, making huge feasts or hosting large celebrations — stress and agitation always seemed to come and sit on our family.
I wasn't expecting to feel this in Transnistria, so it surprised me when I started snapping at people's questions about meal time and recipes. I felt like I was transported back to my house and I was treating my team the way I would have treated my family in moments of high stress and energy. My words were not covered in love and delivered with gentleness.
As I sifted through my emotions and actions and the reasons behind them, I felt a huge apprecaition and understanding for my mother. She handles all the preperations and plans with such grace and ease, but there are also times that the stress overwhelms even her.
I began wondering, is all this worth it? If at the end of the evening I'm feeling drained and irritated and my actions, words and attitude aren't showing love to others, why put so much pressure on myself? No cranberry salad will make up for my tartness.
I also don't mean to imply that big dinners and celebrations during the Holidays should be forgone. There does, however, need to be a shift in our perspective or, as we say on the Race, a heart check.
Why are we making this huge meal? Why are we inviting others to our house for a big party?
In the end, it's not about the delicious turkey or beautiful decorations, it's about the people you're with. So if making a huge deal out of a meal is bringing you stress and causing you to treat others with less respect and love, than skip the meal! Or you can pick up some Chic-fil-a sandwiches and fries, invite the whole neighborhood over and then just enjoy one another's presence.
Let's put the focus back on love.
As I sat in this realization, the Lord brought me back to the verses that my team made as our "mission statement."
Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.
Colossians 3:12-14
So, I challenge myself, my team, my friends and family back home, and whoever, to take a step back from the Holiday preparations, and ask yourself, are you clothing yourself with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience this Holiday season?
