I love being on my tip toes! It may sounds funny, but after being a gymnast for 7-8 years growing up I just kind of became accustom to it. Walking up stairs, twirling in circles, doing ballet moves with my mom in the kitchen (Yeah, we still do this)…I’ve always enjoyed the strength and poise I feel at the higher elevation.
As a child, other gymnastics mom’s would always comment on how wonderfully graceful I was, especially on the balance beam. I had so much confidence on that 4 inch wide, 4 foot tall structure. Fear didn’t seem to be in my vocabulary, and I would notoriously tip toe past the other girls to place first in most competitions.
Somewhere along the way while growing up, this idea of tip towing started manifesting itself in new ways in my life. What I mean by this is that I wasn’t just physically standing tall on my toes like I had learned as a gymnast. I was beginning to watch my step in conversations, especially when it came to explaining my beliefs. Cautiously watching every move, making sure I wouldn’t step on any toes.
The first time I really noticed this was when I worked at a golf course in Chattanooga. I was what you would call a “Cart Girl,” which in its most enjoyable days consisted of serving drinks and snacks to the kind and patient club members. But more than not, it usually consisted of ignoring rude and derogatory comments from male golfers that had consumed one too many alcoholic beverages.
Well on one fateful day while retrieving change for one of the regular golfers (who to this day couldn’t tell you his name, I always got the group of 8-12 confused), he noticed a tattoo that I have on my wrist … a small pink cross. Most people, when they see it, strike up debate about whether it’s a real tattoo or markings of a sharpie. This conversation was different though. He didn’t seem to care if it was real or not. His only question was, “what does that mean to you?”
For someone whose job consisted of small surface talk, that question totally threw me off guard. Even further, for someone who has grown up most of her life in the Bible Belt, the idea that someone didn’t know what the cross meant was foreign to me.
I simply brushed it off saying, “Oh, you know, it’s a cross… I’m a Christian… And pink is my favorite color…”
That was it. He went on to play golf, and I went on working. The rest of that day, my mind kept wandering back to that conversation though. Something about it was so unsettling. And as I pressed rewind for what must have been the hundredth time, my focus sharpened.
He wasn’t asking what the cross was (I fully think he knew the answer to that). He was asking what it meant to ME. And funny enough, I think I knew that when He originally asked. {Kind of like that moment in Miss Congeniality when she’s asked about her perfect date.}
I suddenly felt silly for answering the way I had. In this place that felt void of the Lord’s light, He had shined a spotlight for a mere second. And in fear, I had tip toed around every inch of that light.
Years later, I still reflect on what many would call as a “missed opportunity,” but part of me is incredibly thankful for this occurrence in my life. Why? Because the Lord totally and completely used it to teach me.
We are called to be BOLD in out faith! Even in the scary times when you may feel like you will be judged, reprimanded, scorned, bruised, battered, even martyred. But isn’t it worth it?! To share, even in the mere second, the love and freedom found in Christ.
Where are you tip toeing around in life? Where has God called you to be bold?
