What denomination is the holiday Lent for? I think it might be Catholic, but I don’t even remember. I do remember that it happens in the spring, and that I am suddenly bombarded by questions of if I’m participating and what I’m going to give up.
In college I usually ended up diving in with a group of friends with promises to eat vegan, not eat out, or eliminate sweets. It was always an attempt to break the unhealthy eating habits I had inevitably contracted during the cold, winter months. But more selfishly, and probably more accurately, it was an excuse to deprive myself of something to get ready for my summer beach body. I never understood the true meaning for fasting. I honestly don’t think the thought that it was MORE ever crossed my mind either.
Rewind to Training Camp.
I suffered pretty intensely at TC from what later pinpointed as a lack of clarity. It’s like every time I went to the Lord in prayer, nothing came up. In fact, it seemed COMPLETELY dark, like wandering around in a pitch back room trying to find the light switch. As time went on, I the room seemed to get bigger and bigger! Not only was it larger than I originally thought, but it was turning out to have so many twists and turns…a maze of darkness with one tinny tiny light switch hidden somewhere in the chaos.
This darkness continued on to Bolivia, and then to Peru. When I got to Peru, I was so frustrated. I started comparing my own walk with the Lord to everyone else around me. Why were they hearing things from the Lord? Why were they getting these incredible words and images of the Lords purpose for their lives? Why were they so in tune with the Father and using gifts that I didn’t seem to have or even be aware of? I’m sure you have heard the phrase, “Comparison is the thief of Joy.” I can testify that that is completely true. The combination of the darkness and the comparison was stealing all my joy.
When we got settled down in Peru, I set up a time to talk to my Squad mentor, Hope. I explained the situation to her, my lack of clarity and abidance of confusion. After a few questions, she asked me if I had ever considered fasting. I kind of laughed and explained my fasting experiences, the fact that I knew I had never done it for the right reasons, and the fact that I really didn’t understand the whole process. She talked it up, explaining that it was basically a way to draw closer in intimacy with the Lord. I left that conversation questioning if it was something worth looking into, and finally decided to put my Sherlock Holmes cloak on and investigate this practice.
So I dove in. I wasn’t going to half ass it (Oops! Can I say that phrase on the World Race website…oh well…). I downloaded a Lent fasting devotional series off SheReadsTruth.com. I started sitting down once, sometimes twice, a day to figure this whole thing out. During that time I learned so much that started to reverse my ideas on fasting, and I was truly enjoying this investigation time with God.
So, about a week and a half later, I decided to try it out. I fasted for two days with the purpose of gaining clarity and with hope to hear the Lord’s voice in a more intimate and loving way (or even at all). The first day went well, but no revelations happened. My team, Fearless Laughter, was awesome to check in on me and make sure I was feeling well, and they prayed for me often. The second day came with a few more challenges. Especially when lunch rolled out and the menu included tomato soup and not one, but two, grilled cheese sandwiches, a luxury for World Race standards (and a vegetarian for that matter). I just went into my room and sought out some quiet time with the Lord, focusing on the verse:
“Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.” -Matthew 4:4
That afternoon I had a revelation… God WAS talking to me. He was speaking to me through his Word and allowing me to fall in love with him again. Without even realizing it, the decision to fast had given me purpose. I was waking up every morning with a desire to see what the Lord had to say about this whole fasting for intimacy thing. God had taken me on a journey, moving my feet though that dark, desolate maze for the past week and a half. And during my fast, suddenly I found the light switch.
I am SO THANKFUL for the breakthrough that occurred. Because of it, the Lord is truly speaking in some new and hard ways. I’ve cried more, I’ve laughed more, and I’ve enjoyed my Race more!
I would highly recommend going through the “Fasting” study on SheReadsTruth.com for anyone interesting in learning more about it or preparing for a fast of any sorts. Here are just a few of the things I learned from the study:
– Fasting is a withholding of things—good things—that have taken a too important role in our lives. Fasting is about DEPENDENCE!
– Don’t worry about your life, what you will eat or drink, the Lord will provide and take care of you! (Matthew 6:25-34)
– Fasting should be done in secret, done for the only one who sees in secret. (Matthew 6:16-18)
– He wants us to RETURN TO HIM, so he can heal our wounds! (Hosea 6:1)
– Fasting is for the glory of God! (1 Corinthian 10:31)
