I’ve finally reached a place in my life where I’m not as afraid to take risks. I’m not afraid to do something different than what I’ve always assumed I’d do, or what people have always expected me to do. It’s riveting to surprise yourself and it’s comforting when the risk being taken is inspired by a Godly desire.
Missions is something I never thought was for me growing up, I had the notion there was a level of perfection needed to be a missionary and I never felt as if I was ever going to be “good enough” to achieve that standard. However as I continue to grow up and grow closer to God, I grow in my understanding of what being a missionary really means. It means putting yourself aside for the sake of delivering great joy to others. It means learning to accept that you’re not perfect and never will be. It means loving God and his creation with everything in you. And it means admitting each day that there are things you don’t know and will continue to learn. I still don’t know everything that comes with being a missionary, but I do know that I love God and his people. I am determined to discover what He has for me, and right now I feel called to take time serving others and learning from them instead of immediately diving into college.
There are countless reasons I could opt out of this path. People would understand, but I would live in my disobedience to His call. I don’t want to develop a fragmented view of what’s right versus what’s right for me. What place does fear have to stop me from running towards a God who holds strength and peace? I want to run with purpose towards people He calls us to love. Choosing to focus on my menial qualities rather than His greatness would be a mistake that I don’t want to make. To run beside a God who aside from my reasoning and hesitancy, cant lose any battle He chooses to fight is a choice I know I won’t regret. Life is and will be full of races I’ll be afraid to run, might as well take it step by step and listen to perfect love at the expense of fear.
“Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one receives the prize? So run that you may obtain it. Every athlete exercises self-control in all things. They do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable. So I do not run aimlessly; I do not box as one beating the air. But I discipline my body and keep it under control, lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified.” 1 Corinthians 9:24-27
