One of the beautiful things about getting ready for the World Race is the environment of people I know get to have in this upcoming season of life. I get to have an advisor and a mentor who has helped guide the application and fundraising process. They’ve been in my shoes being former World Racers; so it’s great to pick their brains and to hear their hearts for upcoming racers. I have 56 new people (S SQUAD!!) who have entered into my life who even before we meet face to face have already been such an encouragement. I love getting to have a group chat with the ladies on my team where we can build each other up before the race, ask all the questions we need to get prepared for, and to talk about the most haunted thing that women face: insecurities…
I have always been a perfectionist since I was elementary school. I remember long nights at the dining room table; rewriting my homework over and over again, because I didn’t think it was neat enough. I was the middle school girl who loved planning so much that I had a binder specially designed to hold all my party ideas; including my wedding which was overly detailed. I was the girl in high school that loved to measure my success purely based on my grades, how well I was doing in my extra curricular’s, and even the weight I saw on the scale.
I constantly struggled time and time again when I couldn’t quite meet the expectations I had set for myself. I placed my identity and worth in how others saw me and my achievements. I wanted people to love me, to belong, and to be desired.
When it came to my relationship with God, I didn’t feel worthy enough to approach Him with my needs and desires. I battled with thoughts of having to work my way up to receiving God’s grace and love and time. I thought all the time that if I could just read my Bible more or do more good works then I could go to God. Someone once told me something that I’ll never forget, “Worthiness is received not achieved.”
For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. Ephesians 2:8-9
My worth, my identity is in Christ alone! I can rest in the grace and mercy of God knowing that I don’t have to do this all on my own. Even now in this current season of life as I am fundraising for this race, I am reminded of this verse. My own works and trying to do it all by myself will never get me there. I have to fully trust God’s provision, and thank Him already for bringing amazing people around me who have blessed me!
So, today I choose to rest in this verse and in this promise. Today I will hang up a sticky note on my wall to consistently remind myself in this next season that worthiness is received, not achieved.
