“Following Jesus, and I mean really following Jesus, means I will forfeit anything that blocks me from knowing Him more deeply.”
These words are written in my journal and they’re written on my heart. You see, I’m fond of extremes. I don’t mean to be, but this is how I’ve approached just about everything in my life. These extremes have led me to what felt like the fiery pit of hell right here on earth and they’ve led me to supernatural peace. They’ve gotten me into a lot of trouble and they’ve set me free.
Let me illustrate, friends.
In my decision to turn my life over to God, I had to inspect every crevice and cranny of who I was to determine what was keeping me separated from Him. This wasn’t all at once, and the work surely isn’t complete, but I know that it must be done. Thankfully, God isn’t so subtle about nudging me when it’s due time to surrender.
It’s not easy. It’s not always fun. More often than not, it’s downright scary.
The pesky fear-filled questions almost always creep in when it’s time to let something go.
“How will I EVER have fun again if I quit drinking?”
“What if handing over my body image leads me to be ugly and fat?”
“What if not dating that guy who is totally wrong for me results in me being single FOREVER?”
and most recently, “What if stepping back from social media makes me miss out on EVERYTHING?!”
I knooooow. I’m so dramatic.
Despite the thoughts, I surrender these things and I’m amazed every single time.
He whispers sweet assurance that, indeed, everything will be okay if placed in His hands.
To be clear, this extreme housecleaning is not out of religious duty or guilt. It’s out of an extreme love for my Maker; an extreme desire to give it all up to know Him more.
Isn’t that why I’m doing the World Race, anyway? To know Him and to make Him known.
Yeah, it’s scary. Yeah, I want to run the show. But I want Him more than anything.
I recently decided to take a week-long fast from social media.
I love the perks and convenience and scrolling and instant connectivity, but I don’t love it more than Jesus. With that said, I knew it was time to lean in to seek His face, His kingdom, and who I am in Him. My obsession with social media was only hindering that.
I actually tried to start this fast last Wednesday and failed after only one day. I didn’t like feeling out of the loop. It was not my comfort zone, my default. I didn’t seek God in the middle of my temptation, so of course I failed.
I have so much love for my squad already. I told them about my decision and several of the girls decided to join me in this fast. I haven’t met any of them in person, but we share a bond and comradery already. This is so reassuring for the race! They’re just great. I can’t wait to hug them in less than three weeks.
I know it may be confusing to some of you as to how social media could be blocking me from Jesus. Here’s the thing, though. When I’m plugged into a world that doesn’t even really exist – one of everybody’s highlight reel – I’m not plugged in to what God is showing me in the here and now. Relying on this to fill me rather than His presence is sin. Sin, in any form, is a threat to wholly committing to Jesus. I don’t want to dishonor Him like that, so I take the next right action.
I must say, I’ve been sweetly reminded of the gifts that accompany surrender. Peace washes over me like a Florida rainstorm. I’m able to be present. I have an absurd amount of extra time to spend in prayer. Fear loses its grip. This freedom tastes sweeter with each thing given over to His loving hands.
I just love who God is. I can’t wait to go deeper with Him during this adventure. I can’t wait to witness His glory around the world. I so want people to know what this degree of joy is like. It’s real, it’s here, and it’s available for each and every one of us.
If this is the year of surrender, I’m jumping right in. I might look crazy to you, but this is just a display of my extreme adoration for my Heavenly Father.
xoxo,
McKenzie
