If I had to sum up my experience this month in Malaysia with one word it would be C H A L L E N G E. This came as no surprise for me since one of my teammates, Em, had been praying since month one for month two to be a challenge for our team. When we had debrief with our leadership after month one, one of my coaches let me know he would be praying challenge over me. I was not happy about this prayer from either of these people, but my coach reassured me that where there is challenge, there is inevitably growth that follows.
Month one was very comfortable for me. Our ministry was relationship based, – which I thrived in – we had WiFi to stay connected to our family and friends, and the race was new & fresh which meant the people around me were also just that. Month two looked a lot different. In all honesty, I was not a fan of our ministry, God told me I would be disconnecting from my phone (reasons I have been MIA in blogging), and my teammates were no longer new & fresh. BUT God is still good and He taught me many things through all of this.
Ministry ::
This month we did two different ministries that both involved children. I love children, like a lot. I feel like most women feel this way, but I have felt from a young age that God had made me to be a wife and a mother. Now knowing this bit of information about me, you can understand that it came to a surprise to me that I did not like the ministry we were apart of. I felt useless. “Why, God? What are you going to do through children?” I answered my own question by coming to the conclusion that He wasn’t going to and I was here for absolutely no reason. At the end of this month, He spoke to me and let me know my perspective is so wrong. I watched as the children’s parents who were not Christians became more interested in Jesus and who He is. I listened to stories of my squad mates being able to pray over women who do not believe in the power of Jesus because the same children I didn’t think God could use, He DID use.
Disconnecting ::
God gave me a hint that I was to disconnect going into month 2, but I decided what this would look like for myself. After a dream I had one night, I realized that all the reasons I didn’t want to disconnect were lies from the enemy and The Lord clearly wanted me to disconnect and focus on Him. This ended up looking like me turning my phone off from Monday-Thursday. This doesn’t seem like a big deal, but it was to me. I went from speaking to my family once a day to once a week, I didn’t have music to listen to to go to sleep, and I couldn’t keep up with my other squad mates because I was off social media most of the week. This was hard. The Lord used this time to teach me complete dependence on Him. He let me know that my satisfaction comes from no thing nor person but ONLY through Him.
Community::
This was the most challenging of all. I love people. I genuinely from the depth of my soul desire nothing more than to love others and make sure they know they are loved. My team struggled a lot this month. The enemy attacked our team with lies that we were unloved by the other members, didn’t fit in, and were alone. It makes sense that the enemy would attack the main people in our lives that are holding us accountable and building us up to be more like Christ. HAHAHA @ the devil because my God is mighty. He already went before us, fought this battle, and won. I have a feeling that the Lord is planning on using my team in BIG ways this month since we were attacked so hard last month.
Although this month was hard… really hard, God used it to stretch and grow me. I constant verse playing in my head is Genesis 50:20 “As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today.” God always takes what the enemy wants to use against us for good to glorify Him. Here lately I have just been amazed by all the things He has and continues to orchestrate for the good of me who loves Him & for me to use to glorify Him. Trusting Him has become easy because He is an intentional God who turns everything around for those whom love Him.
PS ::
Keith, thank you for praying challenge over me, although you knew I was hesitant. Always thankful for you and sweet Karen 🙂
