As I have been reflecting the past few months about life, you- Granny, are who comes to mind. I decided to take the time to share my thoughts of you, so not only you know how I feel about you, but so others can get a glimpse of the woman you are. Spiritual leader, mother to many, prayer warrior, victorious, resting place, comforter, and breaker of strongholds is how I would describe you. One of my favorite places in the world till this day is to be in your lap, as you are rocking me, and talking to me. Yes, I am about to be 24 years old and no, I am not too old for this. This is easily one of my favorite places because of the presence you carry. Peace. I see so much of God the Father, Jesus, and Holy Spirit in you. As I look back on the video I made for you and grandad for Christmas, which yes I know I still have to make a copy for you hehe, I am reminded of how so many described you: our spiritual warrior: a true woman of God. I praise you for taking on this role, but I also apologize to you for being the one to carry it all. While I love your strength for so many to depend on you, I apologize that you have had to burden so many. This is where I want to say thank you for everything you have done for me, but you are no longer responsible for my spiritual health. I depend on you, as do many. But you are not my Jesus and I am sorry I have put you in that role. My biggest hope and desire is to seek you in counsel, but also just be sisters in Christ with you. You are wise and I will always respect you. I apologize for being unteachable in my youth. Not allowing to see that God was speaking through you, to me, so much for a lot of my life. If I were just to listen to your wisdom, it would have saved me from much heartbreak. I also thank you for letting me fail on my own and letting God pick me up. You have decided to be a help mate in my life and not the helper. You let me mess up, and do not take Holt Spirit’s place in convicting me, but instead are just a steady burning fire praying in the Spirit for me to return to the Father. One question I can’t wait to ask Jesus when I meet Him is where you have prayed for me in my life and it has saved me. Where you have chosen to be a faithful servant in prayer to our Father and it has changed direction of my life. You, a Moses, praying for me, a Lot. Your love never changes for me. Despite any disrespect I have shown you, or rebellion you have stood by my side for, your love has been unconditional. I have learned so much of the Father’s heart through you. I thank you more than you know for the example you have been in all aspects of your life. Particularly in your marriage. So many are too quick to divorce, but not you and my grandad. I can only imagine the pain, hurt, anger, questions, and not understanding that you have experienced being married and parenting, but your commitment to one another has effected the generations after you. Because of you and grandad, I have hope in my marriage. The thought of divorce isn’t so scary because it isn’t something you have passed on to me, but you have passed on commitment in your covenant. I most of all thank you for your heart for missions. To do God’s will despite many obstacles facing you. That despite what you were raised by, you sought out more. You knew God was bigger then something you learned about on Sundays. You knew there was a deeper relationship to be had with Him, so much so that you surrendered your whole life to serve Him and others. You have had open hands to Him and have experienced Him in such ta gable ways that others will not because they do not have the willing heart that you CHOSE to have. I know it hurts not being overseas and doing what you love, but there is much to be said about a woman that sacrifices her own desires to do the work of God right where you are at: minister to our family. I only can imagine the pain you have felt of being planted in one spot, but please know that I am the fruit of a faithful servant. You.
I love you, granny. Thank you for everything.
