As a little girl, I always fantasized about being a wife and a mother. I would wonder what my wedding would look like, who would be in my wedding, and most importantly, who I would be marrying. The world has standards that we grow up, go to college, fall in love, get married, have children, and raise our children to do the same cycle. Due to this worldly cycle, you can imagine how disappointed I am at the fact that I am twenty two with no college degree, without love from a significant other, and am single. It leaves me feeling as though I am a failure.
Being single has never been an interest of mine. If you know me, you know that I am a being that craves relationship and thrives off of spending time with others. After watching others, whether it be family or friends, falling in love and getting married for years left me questioning God. Am I not good enough? Is this a punishment? Do I have to find myself/love myself first? Am i not spiritually mature, yet? Why would God be withholding such a treasured gift and desire from me? I had so many questions and felt like none of them were being answered. Key word: I felt. I was emotionally looking for satisfaction. I was looking to the world for answers and not reading The Word of God for Him to speak answers to my questions.
After asking God these questions and ignoring His answers, I finally decided to turn to Him and have Him answer. The problem was not being single, but the mindset I had on singleness and marriage. God has transformed my mind and He has shown me that I am very blessed to be single.
God taught me that singleness is a gift, and if I embrace being single, I will do mighty works for Him and through Him to build His’ Kingdom. Singleness has given me the ability to have time. I have more time to focus on my Father and His plans for my life. I have more time to indulge in His word. One of God’s plans for me is the eleven month mission trip I will soon be embarking on. If i were married, I would most likely not have the willingness or time to go because I would be bound in marriage. What a tragedy it would be to miss out on the biggest calling I have yet to receive from my Father!
God also taught me what marriage would not do. Marriage will not fulfill my loneliness. Marriage will not complete me or make me whole. Marriage is not above being single or a greater gift from God that I am missing out on. Marriage is not for me to act upon because of my own personal desires. Marriage is a union between two people to symbolize the unity of Christ and the church.
While I still hope to one day be provided with a husband by God, I know that it will only be in my plans if that will further help me glorify Him and bring others to His’ Kingdom. So for now, I praise God for my gift of singleness. I thank Him that He is teaching me to focus and depend on Him alone.
I no longer question God if I was not good enough because I found my identity through Christ and have been reminded that my God sent His son to die for me, so who am i ever to doubt my worth from Him! I no longer question if this is a punishment because I now realize what a gift God has blessed me with. I no longer question about finding myself/loving myself because Christ has given me a new identity that I wear boldly and without hesitation. I no longer question if I am not spiritually mature enough to handle marriage because God is molding me into exactly who He wants me to be. I am maturing and growing in our relationship, daily.
If you are single now (not married), then you have been called to singleness. Embrace the gift God has given you. It is a beautiful gift to become one with Him!
