October 17th, 2019 could not have come soon enough. For months, I was anticipating what training camp was going to be like; the food, the activities, and (most importantly) the people. I had a lot of information about what to expect from previous racers, but it still did not prepare me for the experiences I had. The community that I was apart of at training camp was super natural. It is something I pray that every Christian will be able to be apart of. The worship made me feel freedom praising God, in a way I had never felt. I thought I should be the most uncomfortable I had ever felt due to lack of sleep, constantly being around people I had never met, unusual foods, and bucket showers (that do not get you clean by the way), but instead I had peace that made me feel the most comfortable I had ever felt before and a sense of belonging. What I was experiencing for the first time was God’s design for the church and real community. God also spoke to me several times throughout training camp, but one stood out in a significant way that will forever alter the way I see Him.
I am someone who loves psychology. At this point, you are probably questioning where I am going with this statement and I promise I have a purpose with sharing this with you, so stay with me. I am a people-person and crave getting to know people on a much deeper level then the small talk information so many people like to give. Psychology interest me, so I can understand who people are and why they choose to do the things that they do. With humans, this can be easy. There is research and studies to show evidence and help you better understand people you come in contact with everyday, but what about when you try to use this strategy to understand The Lord. It does not work. For me, I over complicate everything with our Father. I constantly am trying to figure out the motive behind every decision He makes and allows in my life. Mentally, it is exhausting and started to effect my relationship with God and how I viewed Him. Spoiler alert: we as humans will never be able to fully comprehend who The King of this universe is, but He shared with me a tip to make things easier on me.
During training camp, a woman shared with us that she went on a silent retreat and she asked God what His favorite memory of her was. She then challenged us to do the same. That afternoon, I imposed this question on Him, and immediately had an answer. He gave me a memory that I do not recall, but my family loves to tell about me. I was a little girl taking a bath and I was singing the song “I Exalt Thee”, or so I thought. My grandmother walked in and I was instead singing “He is Salty”. I laughed when The Lord gave me this memory, but honestly was hoping for something more meaningful. Let me tell you friend, He had more meaning behind sharing this memory with me. The very next night during worship, we were singing a song and we ended with singing the lyrics “I exalt thee”. The Lord spoke to me “No one else but me understood what you were singing in that bath. I understood you then, and I understand you now. Stop over complicating me. Child-like faith Kenz.” I instantly started crying in that moment realizing how much I do over complicate God. I felt so special to Him in that moment. It will always be one of the sweetest and most precious encounters I have with our Father.
So I challenge you in two ways;
One: Ask God to share His favorite memory of you, to you.
Two: Stop over complicating God. He will make Himself known to you. “And calling to him a child, he put him in the midst of them and said, “Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven” Matthew 18:2-4 ESV
Thank you Abba for the freedom to come to you in a child-like way, and trusting in You when things are beyond my understanding!
